Do goth kids play corpse and robbers?

#LunchPun

#LunchPun #tuesdaytitters Our company accountant has been arrested for fiddling the accounts and several female staff members have also made allegations of impropriety.
Massaging the figures?
That’s one of the rumours.

Perhaps the FA needs to perform a Citizen's arrest
at Man City's next home game.
#joke #funny #jokes #LunchPun

To celebrate the publication of his newest book, my mate, an Irish author, had a good few drinks and then urinated into a double sized champagne bottle. He said it was his Magnum O’Piss. #LunchPun

Military air crew used to paint pin-up girls on the noses of their planes.

That wouldn't fly these days.

#LunchPun #Jokes

Just finished reading Optimus Prime's autobotography.

#LunchPun

NO TRAPPISTS ALOUD!

#LunchPun

Now I'm not saying that running a bird sanctuary is expensive but everywhere I look

Bills, bills,bills

#lunchpun #HaveALaugh

#LunchPun #mondaymirth My mate’s horse got smashed to bits by a lorry whilst out riding. He wanted it stuffed by a taxidermist famous for doing that sort of thing and for designing jigsaws. Sadly, towards the end, they found there was a bit missing.

Why can't bomb disposal personnel relax
on holiday?
They're on a suspicious package holiday!
#LunchPun #joke #funny #jokes #humor

"I heard that the lead singer of 'The Police' had collapsed and died on stage recently when he was singing 'Roxanne'"

"Oh no, really?"

"No, it turned out to be an online hoax"

"Well, that would have really taken the Sting out of the tale!"

#LunchPun

#LunchPun #badjokefriday My friend is a taxidermist and has developed a theme park involving it for children to preserve dead animals in fun ways. Great stuff.

- My neighbour went to jail for her jpeg
- She had an illegal photo?
- No, she carried out a sexual act on an unsuspecting corvid

#LunchPun

When you challenge Trip Advisor reviewers they get all irate.

#LunchPun #Jokes

Ed Sheeran has said he regrets sacking Darth Vader from his tour, but his repeated chants of "Free Palpatine" were attracting unwelcome publicity from the rebellion.

#LunchPun

My wife only came third in a cooking competition by pouring Bacardi over a rotisserie chicken, but at least she got on the rostrum. #Lunchpun

Joke + Audience = Laughter.

It's basic mirthematics.

#LunchPun