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The most expensive thing in Brisbane politics is not the heat, the humidity, or the cost of a good cup of coffee, but the square footage of a headquarters. One Nation, noting that its previous era of…
#One #Nation #Finds #Office #Space #Gina #Business #Sydney #Australia #AustralianNews #Satire

Opal Tower’s long‑awaited ribbon‑cutting ceremony this week declared the building defect‑free, bringing to a close a saga that began with a jagged fissure on level 10 on Christmas Eve 2018.
#Opal #Tower #Declared #Defect #Free #Eight #Business #Sydney #Australia #AustralianNews #AusNews #Satire

In a showdown that pits a former NSL powerhouse against one of the A‑League’s biggest clubs, South Melbourne will lock horns with Melbourne Victory in the Australia Cup final. The historic decider will be…
#Old #Nsl #Giant #South #Melbourne #Meets #Sports #Australia #AustralianNews #AusNews #Satire

Victorian jockey Jamie Mott missed out on a ride in the Caulfield Guineas. Undeterred, he headed east to Sydney and took the reins on Attrition.
#Mott #Attrition #Sydney #Victorian #Caulfield #Guineas #Sports #Melbourne #Australia #AustralianNews #AusNews #AustraliaNews #SportsNews #Satire

St Kilda announced on Friday that head coach Nick Dal Santo has been relieved of his duties after the team suffered eight consecutive AFLW defeats, one of which matched the league’s lowest ever score.
#Kilda #Eight #Dal #Santo #Friday #Nick #Sports #Melbourne #Australia #AustralianNews #Satire

Three men found guilty of murdering two Australian surfer brothers and US friend #JusticeForJakeAndCallum #SurferBrothers #TrueCrime #MurderTrial #AustralianNews

The much‑anticipated Firmus float, billed as the largest IPO in thirty years, quickly ran into trouble as investors focused on its sizable debt and ambitious expansion agenda. Rather than soaring, the…
#Firmus #Ipo #Titanic #Tech #Sinks #Beneath #Finance #Sydney #Australia #AustralianNews #Satire

The forecourt of the massive coal mine looked more like a waiting room than a dump, with traffic cones arranged in a semi‑circle as if the whole operation were waiting for a doctor’s appointment.
#Massive #High #Court #Traffic #HighCourt #Mine #Climate #Sydney #Australia #AustralianNews #Satire

Bond yields have climbed so high that even the ASX’s ticker symbols look like they’re hanging off a cliff, forcing investors to check their safety harnesses before the market dives.
#Bond #Yields #Skyrocket #Asx #Slides #Oil #Finance #Sydney #Australia #AustralianNews #AusNews #AustraliaNews #Satire

Zach Merrett, the only player to get booted from the Bombers and not the chat group, has officially left the club after a season that could have been written as a cautionary tale in a footy‑fan’s diary.
#Zach #Merrett #Exit #Bombers #Ghost #Rings #Sports #Melbourne #Australia #AustralianNews #Satire

Pornhub has slipped back onto the Australian internet, but its return comes with a twist: the platform now has to wait for Apple’s age‑verification gate to give the green light. The Canadian owner of the…
#Pornhub #Back #Australia #But #Apple #Gives #Technology #Sydney #AustralianNews #Satire

When war drums echo, bond markets sputter and oil prices climb, a pair of tech stars still manage to lift Wall Street. The U.S.
#Wall #Street #Winks #Two #Tech #Stars #Finance #Sydney #Australia #AustralianNews #AusNews #AustraliaNews #FinanceNews #Markets #Satire

Collingwood are reportedly gearing up to make a high‑profile bid for Gold Coast’s Brownlow‑medallist Matt Rowell ahead of next season.
#Collingwood #Eyes #Matt #Rowell #Bold #Bid #Sports #Melbourne #Australia #AustralianNews #AusNews #AustraliaNews #SportsNews #SatireNews #Satire

The Los Angeles Lakers are scrambling for a lineup as two star players sit out the NBA preseason opener, leaving the franchise to lean on its underdog reputation and a generous helping of hope.
#Lakers #Hit #Preseason #Roadblock #Two #Stars #Sports #Sydney #Australia #AustralianNews #AusNews #Satire

St Kilda has set a steep asking price for Brisbane midfielder Sam Marshall, signalling they are willing to pay a premium for the talent. The Saints’ strategy hinges on acquiring a pick in the 20s from…
#Kilda #Steep #Price #Sam #Marshall #Pick #Sports #Melbourne #Australia #AustralianNews #Satire

The Coalition’s budget‑neutral migration cut promises to slash around 650,000 temporary visa holders over four years, igniting debate about the impact on public services, cultural diversity and even the…
#Sydney #New #Immigration #Play #Cutting #Temporary #Politics #Australia #AustralianNews #Satire

The Sydney Roosters have confirmed that two of their marquee forwards, Mark Nawaqanitawase and Angus Crichton, will be departing the club to pursue opportunities in a rival code later this season.
#Roosters #Nfl #Nawaqanitawase #Crichton #Even #Sydney #Sports #Australia #AustralianNews #Satire

Mary Fowler has withdrawn from the Matildas squad for the upcoming friendlies against Germany and Haiti, citing personal circumstances. She will be replaced by 22‑year‑old forward Leah Davidson.
#Matildas #Leah #Davidson #Mary #Fowler #Germany #Sports #Melbourne #Australia #AustralianNews #Satire

When bond yields kept climbing, the Australian stock market opened in the green, mirroring the upbeat mood on Wall Street. Market participants were quick to applaud the rally, though inflation fears lingered.
#Asx #Opens #Higher #Bond #Yields #Rise #Finance #Sydney #Australia #AustralianNews #Satire