When I was cooking sausages in our caravan, my wife decided to drive us into a crater.

Towed in the hole?

Bangers and mash actually.

#Lunchpun

#LunchPun #badjokefriday A really nice Royal Navy admiral effusively told an entire ship’s crew that they looked smart and lovely. It was a full complement.

Piers Morgan peering at you in a
peer review on Blackpool piers
is real peer pressure!
#joke #funny #jokes #LunchPun

My niece is always online at this time of the year posting her coughs, sneezes, and shivers

She is a social media influenza

#Lunchpun #HaveALaugh

My mate bought a large amount of sugar completely filling his trolley. He then dithered and couldn’t find his way out of the hypermarket. Proving the old adage.
“He who has a Tates is lost”. #LunchPun

I'm a versatile writer. I write poetry on the shower wall.

#lunchPun

For sale!

Instruments for public shaming and corporal punishment.

While stocks last.

#LunchPun

I phoned the coastguard yesterday.

I said, "I'm thinking!"

"So why are you calling us?!", They said.

I said, "Because my thailboat is letting in water and I need rethcuing!!"

#LunchPun

#LunchPun
Trying out some christian paint but it looks awful, I'll see what it looks like after a sin coat.

Look, bouncers on the doors in pubs should be called inn-security.

#LunchPun

My paleontologist aunt once shut down an expensive dig as she believed a bone she found contained a dinosaur jaw with a dangerous virus.

But it was just a fossil arm

#Lunchpun #HaveALaugh

#LunchPun #badjokethursday “Good sized suite but let down by the lack of adult TV channels and the cooked breakfast”.

My car's broken down and now I don't know how I'm going to get to Snowdon.

Thumb it?

No, I was only going to go half way up.

#Lunchpun

Desperate Greggs trying too hard.
Launched their new vegan forward roll
for healthy eating!
#joke #funny #jokes #LunchPun

I’ve just invented a wireless robot surgeon.
It operates on batteries. #LunchPun

I visited an establishment that made honey yesterday.

They gave me a good discount, but they don't give free bees.

#LunchPun