#LunchPun #badjokethursday “Good sized suite but let down by the lack of adult TV channels and the cooked breakfast”.

#LunchPun #badjokethursday My mate, Richard lost an arm. I wrote a short type of poem in the style of the Irish about it; some said it was the best Limb o’ Rick they’d ever heard.

#LunchPun #badjokethursday I once investigated an untidy break in at a designer toilet shop by rioters. One of the stolen, trendy lavatories looked like a tall, silver, musical triangle. It was a very nasty case of loo-ting.

#LunchPun #badjokethursday As a police officer I dealt with a case of two brothers arguing about the ownership of Ultravox records left in a will. There was a lot of shouting and screaming and I told them they both needed to be a lot more Midge Ure about the whole thing.

#LunchPun #badjokethursday I was once cast as the lead stand-in for a theatre musical about the Cuban dictator, Castro. After a while I realised I was not going to get my big chance so left as I was fed up with playing second Fidel.