My aunt is a doctor who unusually specialises in removing coins stuck in tourists who have visited France, Italy, Germany, and The Netherlands

She describes herself as a...

Eurosurgeon

#Lunchpun #HaveALaugh

#LunchPun #mondaymirth I went to see a comedian last night and his warm-up act was a chap dressed as a cricketer who removed beer bottle lids with his teeth. He was quite funny and a pretty good opener.

I let the CAT scan out of the colostomy
bag, about my fundamental lack of
medical knowledge!
#joke #funny #jokes #LunchPun

#LunchPun
A new cat species discovered in Bolivia? That should bring in the tourists, there's an airport there named after Jenifer La Paz.

#LunchPun #badjokefriday I work on behalf of the US President for the Central Incontinence Agency and we stop sub-standard products being sold to those affected. This morning we did a raid on a factory and they knew we were coming. I think someone in The Whitehouse leaks.

Anglo Irish politics.

It’s all fun and games til someone loses NI…

#LunchPun

Racism. So wrong and yet so white.

#LunchPun

If you missed my social media posts on the risks of explosive reactions in animal fodder... don't worry. They won't be blowing up your feed anytime soon.

#LunchPun #Jokes

The correct term for thing that connects a woman's vagina to her arsehole is a wedding.

#LunchPun

I had no idea what to do when I left school so I became a farrier on the hoof. #Lunchpun

The children of police officers always go to bed on time or they're charged with resisting a rest.

#LunchPun

I love Autumn in our local church. The Vicar and the congregation all wear crop tops.
It’s the Half Vest Festival. #LunchPun

Isaac Newton's epoch changing discoveries.
The gravity of their implications were lost on society.
#joke #funny #jokes #LunchPun

The recipe said ‘the oven needs to be turned to 180 degrees.’

But if I did that I wouldn’t be able to get the door open.

#LunchPun

The depressed city with the most malaise in the world is Kuala Lumpur. #LunchPun

#LunchPun
They love rodents at the Bank of England that's why interested rats are being held.

- I've found out I'm related to the England goalkeeper's family
- Pickfords?
- Yes, appropriately enough, once removed

#LunchPun