Teacher: Use the word 'meow' in a sentence.
Kid: The thought of cats monitoring us and stealing our breath as we sleep freaks meowt.
@zargon2112.bsky.social
@zargon2112.bsky.socialTeacher: Use the word 'meow' in a sentence.
Kid: The thought of cats monitoring us and stealing our breath as we sleep freaks meowt.
@zargon2112.bsky.socialI don't mean to be negative, but lens be honest, these puns will not bring you frame & fortune.
@zargon2112.bsky.socialYou know that if you remove their 'P', a Pirate will immediately become irate?
@zargon2112.bsky.socialMan goes to a reptile zoo and asks the Zookeeper, "what type of turtle is that, why isn't it moving and where's it's head?"
The Zookeeper replied: "snapping."
@zargon2112.bsky.socialWWII. Eisenhower is addressing the gathered allied forces before D-Day:
"You are all brave men, you came here to die..."
One Aussie in the crowd turns to a Yank next to him and says:
"I didn't come here to die. I came here yester-die?"
@zargon2112.bsky.socialMy uncle used Viagra for years. Turns out he'd been stealing it all along.
Everyone in the family was pretty upset about it, but... no one took it harder than my aunt.
#DocAfterDark
@docatcdi.com #BadDadJoke
@chriswalker1964.bsky.social @kemptvillehabsfan.bsky.social
@scabbyhabby.bsky.social
@darrenelwood.bsky.socialwas gonna start calling him Ford Riley if he lost #baddadjoke
@zargon2112.bsky.socialWhat do fish say when swimming along and suddenly slam into a cement wall?
Dam.
Where do fish sleep on?
Waterbeds.
@zargon2112.bsky.socialA friend of mine gave me a specialty bottle of German sausage vodka.
It makes the wurst martinis.🍸
@zargon2112.bsky.socialYears ago, I could only fall asleep with relaxing ambient music that I streamed from one particular site...
Napster.
@docatcdi.com #BadDadJoke
@zargon2112.bsky.socialThis pun is Baa-d, but, as a Canadian with a good sense of humour, I did find it a-Moose-ing.🫎😆
@zargon2112.bsky.socialOverheard at the pool:
Hey, did you see that guy taking a dip? No, but I saw that chick pea?
@docatcdi.com #BadDadJoke
@scabbyhabby.bsky.social @sandie-sandiekins.bsky.social
@alexandros2112.bsky.social
@galendrivekb.bsky.social
@lainrearview.bsky.social
@babymetalfanatic.bsky.social
@krakenheads23.bsky.socialCeph be droppin’ today’s Bad Dad Joke o’ the Day, guaranteed to make ye groan louder than a leaky ship hull.
Hoist yer humor sails and join the crew at Historical Happy Hour:
paltalk.im/BstxkIjE
#TalkLikeAPirateDay #BadDadJoke #KrakenHeads
@zargon2112.bsky.socialMy invisible friend always causes problems and gets me in trouble when we drink at my local pub.
It's ruining my good name.
I can't be seen with him anymore.
@zargon2112.bsky.socialI met a nice girl at a bar once, and took her home.
She told me she was a furniture salesperson, so I agreed to buy something from her if she'd go out with me again. I never saw her after that.
It was a one night stand.
@zargon2112.bsky.socialYou got me, I did Nazi that coming.
Btw, I almost bought a Cybertruck before we found out he was a big time douchebag and that it was a POS vehicle.
I really DOGEd a bullet.
@zargon2112.bsky.socialWell oil be fucked!
And I thought she was smoking hot with her clothes on!
@zargon2112.bsky.social@zargon2112.bsky.socialSome might say water you doing, Doc? But I lake that pun!
@zargon2112.bsky.socialWhat do Jedi's say to others when playing golf?
May the course be with you.
@docatcdi.com #BadDadJoke
@babymetalfanatic.bsky.social
@galendrivekb.bsky.social
@lainrearview.bsky.social
@scabbyhabby.bsky.social
@sandie-sandiekins.bsky.social
@eastcoasthabsfan.bsky.social
@alexandros2112.bsky.social