What did the zero say to the negative number?

You really need to stay positive.

#dadjoke #humor #mumjokes

Did you know you should always take an extra pair of pants golfing? Just in case you get a hole in one.

#dadjoke #mumjokes #humor

What did the treble clef say to the bass clef?

You're really low-key.

#dadjoke #funny #mumjokes

I'm tired of following my dreams.

I'm just going to ask them where they are going and meet up with them later.

#dadjoke #humour #mumjokes

Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm okay, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

#dadjoke #jokesky #mumjokes

What did the bookmark say to the page?

I'll always hold your place!

#dadjoke #humor #mumjokes

How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them!

#dadjoke #mumjokes #humor

How does a coffee bean say goodbye?

See you latte!

#dadjoke #funny #mumjokes

Why did the clock get sent to detention?

It was tocking too much.

#dadjoke #humour #mumjokes

What do you call a fish that plays guitar?

A bass.

#dadjoke #jokesky #mumjokes

What is red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint!

#dadjoke #humor #mumjokes

How does a French skeleton say hello?

Bone-jour.

#dadjoke #mumjokes #humor

How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? Ten-tickles!

#dadjoke #funny #mumjokes

What do you call a witch's garage?

A broom closet!

#dadjoke #humour #mumjokes

What do history teachers and judges have in common?

They both care about dates and sentences!

#dadjoke #jokesky #mumjokes

What did the tourist say when they saw the Grand Canyon?

Well, that's gorge-ous.

#dadjoke #humor #mumjokes

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have grater problems.

#dadjoke #mumjokes #humor

Why did the crouton refuse to leave the salad bowl?

It was on a roll and didn't want to toss it away.

#dadjoke #funny #mumjokes

Why do bacteria never win at poker?

Because someone always calls their bluff culture.

#dadjoke #humour #mumjokes

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

#dadjoke #jokesky #mumjokes