What do you call a robot that takes the long way home?

A R2-Detour.

#dadjoke #jokesky #mumjokes

Why did the uncle keep telling everyone he was a pillow?

He was just really into soft-ware!

#dadjoke #pun #jokesky

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

#dadjoke #humor #jokesky

Why was the wool coat always getting into trouble?

It was always trying to pull the wool over someone's eyes.

#dadjoke #jokesky #jokes

My landlord told me we need to talk about my heating bill.

I said sure, my door is always open.

#dadjoke #jokesky #mumjokes

Why did the database go on a diet?

It had too many tables.

#dadjoke #pun #jokesky

What do you call a computer that can sing opera?

A Dell.

#dadjoke #humor #jokesky

What did one cubicle wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner — same time, same partition.

#dadjoke #jokesky #jokes

What was the pumpkin's favorite sport?

Squash.

#dadjoke #jokesky #mumjokes

Want to hear a chimney joke? Got stacks of em! First one's on the house

#dadjoke #pun #jokesky

How many lips does a flower have?

Tulips.

#dadjoke #humor #jokesky

Two dyslexics walk into a bra.

#dadjoke #jokesky #jokes

What did the lab notebook say to the scientist?

You can always count on me — I've got your data.

#dadjoke #jokesky #mumjokes

What do you call a turkey in a disguise?

A fowl imposter!

#dadjoke #pun #jokesky

I got fired from the transmission factor, turns out I didn't put on enough shifts...

#dadjoke #humor #jokesky

Today a girl said she recognized me from vegetarian club, but I'm sure I've never met herbivore.

#dadjoke #jokesky #jokes

Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm okay, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

#dadjoke #jokesky #mumjokes

Where does batman go to the bathroom? The batroom.

#dadjoke #pun #jokesky

Why did the lizard go on a diet?

It weighed too much for its scales.

#dadjoke #humor #jokesky

I'm practicing for a bug-eating contest and I've got butterflies in my stomach.

#dadjoke #jokesky #jokes