#LunchPun #wednesdaywit I one arrested two vehicle recovery van drivers racing each other back to base, getting angry, threatening violence and shouting abuse. They went tow-to-tow.

#LunchPun #wednesdaywit When Morecambe and Wise died they were both cremated and their ashes were put on display. One container was bigger than the other.
Little Urn?
I’m not sure which one he was in.

#LunchPun #wednesdaywit A professional football friend fell from a second floor balcony and was impaled on metal railings. He had a long road back to fitness and on his first day back..
Coach - is he up to it?
Me - I think he’s a bit rusty.

#LunchPun #wednesdaywit Burglars stole several violins and other similar stringed instruments from a music store. I investigated and found the point of entry where a difficult lock had been picked. It all looked a bit fiddly.

#LunchPun #wednesdaywit Just read a heartwarming book about a woman who was permanently constipated, so her doctor gave her a new type of laxative that worked wonders. It was moving stuff.