Back to thinking about how much of this applies to me, oh no

I always described myself as “too much” or “too overwhelming”
I wasn’t aware of just how low my self-esteem was nor how bad my people-pleasing was until this last year demanded I stop that shit immediately lol

#verbaexore

I’m aware I’m stressful & complex. I’m aware I’m high effort. But I’m also aware of my worth, which makes closer friendships *highly* difficult.

UGH I hate feeling *so much* & *so intense…*
& if I repeat myself a lot yes I do. If the problem isn’t fixed I ruminate. I can’t escape lol.

#verbaexore

(Long Rambles)
#verbaexore | #CPTSD

I had the chance to finally tell my abuser how I felt. This was quite the opportunity as he doesn’t have the ability to talk over me or silence me - I could speak without him resisting.

I didn’t do it.

Instead I was merciful & kind. It was very eye-opening. +

I’m so sorry but this shit pisses me off so bad lmao

It sets the expectation that if you take care of others, they’ll do the same for you when you need it. That someone will “eventually” notice you’re not okay.
Which is highly dangerous for people who are suicidal, mentally ill etc. #verbaexore

I am this meme #verbaexore

Regardless of this being a trauma response, it’s still valid. It’s miserable to feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders, know that others are aware you’re struggling, and they carry on like you’re completely fine. Fuck you.

#verbaexore

💙 DNI, BYF, more info: judas-seraph.carrd.co 💙

💭 TAG LIST: LAST UPDATED 9/2026 💭
#judas-seraph all of my original posts
#JudasArgentum my main OC
#FFXIVLudere cataloguing Judas' FFXIV journey
#PhiliaOC pertaining to Philia, my demon / imp OC
#verbaexore relatable screenshots and/or rambles