@unixbigot.aus.social.ap.brid.gy“How about that one?”
“Ugh, no, too new!”
“What, worried engineering won’t be called on to save the day any more?”
“Reliable is fine, but those 601s have fully sealed plasma conduits”
“Which means?”
“No more making s’mores at the inspection ports”
“Yeah, not that one, then”
#Tootfic […]
@unixbigot.aus.social.ap.brid.gyMove fast and break things they said. Well, Sol was permabanned from the galactic wormhole network thanks to littering the lanes with failed test ships. We have to make it to another system via N-space and reapply. I'm so over this trip, still two centuries to go.
@unixbigot.aus.social.ap.brid.gyHeh, "Genesplice Pools" is a funny name for a pool care business.
Yeah nah, if you know you know. People who take the otherkin splice soon learn that a lot of orthohuman kit needs upgrading.
Like?
More than half my business is retrofitting fur traps to pool filters, sib.
#TootFic […]
@unixbigot.aus.social.ap.brid.gy“Ow! It stung me. What *was* that thing? Some kinda insect?”
“Copyright enforcement drone.”
“What the literally flying fuck?”
“You were humming again, lover, and your hair is obscuring your license QR”
#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #Title_Enforcement_Droid_Zero_Point_Two_Oh_Nine […]
@unixbigot.aus.social.ap.brid.gy“I wonder if any of my favourite teachers ever guessed I was queer.”
“My sister is a teacher, they get a quarterly list of future eggs; you gotta opt in tho”
“What?!”
“You did fill in the Authority To Retro-Notify form 57A in your gender reorientation kit, yeah?”
@unixbigot.aus.social.ap.brid.gyI merely said that we were running low on paper clips. How was I supposed to know it was listening to everything we say. #Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #Title_Maximised #BonusEdition
@unixbigot.aus.social.ap.brid.gy"Bee arr bee going to the ladies"
"I'll come too"
"But we can't leave our table unattended while the others are dancing"
"Saright I'll put a curse on it"
"I thought witches swore only to use their gift for good?"
"That's Jedi, and they were shit at it, too"
@unixbigot.aus.social.ap.brid.gy"Nononono use the meson ray!"
"That will take forever!"
"Low and slow is the only way to cook Earthcow. Microwaves just make them explode."
"I can't believe we flew eighty parsecs for take out"
"Trust me, fresh from the field is the only way to eat 'em"
@unixbigot.aus.social.ap.brid.gy"I'm gonna smash it!"
"No, don't!"
"What are you, the lapdog of the surveillance capitalism sector?"
"Parent of a child stolen by the Angels. Street cameras suck, sure, but they never blink. You look a lot like her, what was your great grandmother's name?"
@unixbigot.aus.social.ap.brid.gyI didn't know you played guitar?
I don't; what makes you think that?
The "This Machine Kills Fascists" sticker on the case
Ahahaha— no. This one uses a different process.
@kayeluvian.the.voiceover.bar.ap.brid.gyThe old man eyed me across the grog-soaked table, “I chased him across the Atlantic, through storms round The Cape, in the frozen wastes, and across the South Sea maelstroms!”
He balled his fist and leant a snaggley smirk. “But I got him! It took everything I had: my family, my money… […]