👔 Why are pediatricians always in such a hurry?

They have very little patients.

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny

👕 I just saw my partner trip and fall while carrying a laundry basket full of freshly folded clothes…

I just sat there and watched it all unfold

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny

🤖 What does an escalator say when it stops working?

Nothing, it just stairs.

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny

📖 I saw a piece of toast at the zoo…

The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity.

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny

🤖 I made a playlist for hiking with music from Peanuts, the Cranberries and Eminem…

I call it my Trail Mix.

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny

🎉 Which way does a cyclops wing it’s eyeliner?

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny

💻 Why do computer programmers always start work so late?

They have a hard drive.

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny

💰 Steve found a magic lamp, rubbed it and a genie popped out. The genie asks "What is your first wish?" and Steve responded, "I wish I was rich!" and the genie responded…

"What's your second wish, Rich?"

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny

🎩 What do you call a man who was attacked by a cat?

Claude

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny

🌩️ A storm blew 25% of my roof off last night…

Oof

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny

Here are 10 of the worst jokes about women. It's free and complete at worlds-worst-website.com/worst-jokes-... ( #women, #woman, #female, #wife, #jokesAboutWomen, #humor, #joke, #mirth, #comedy, #funny, #momJokes, #wifeJokes, #womanJokes, #girlfriendJokes)

📅 There was a huge sale at the LEGO store today…

People were lined up for blocks

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny

went out to eat last night but my cramps were so bad I couldn't keep it down

mum said she enjoyed dinner, even if I only rented mine.

#period #sassy #momjokes #cramps #OverThese

🎩 What do you call a man without a body and a nose?

No body nose!

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny

🐧 How does a penguin build its house?

Igloos it together!

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny

📅 I wanted to name my son Lance, but my wife said it was uncommon…

I told her that in medieval days, people were named Lance a lot

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny

💼 I made six figures last year…

I was also named worst employee at the toy factory.

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny

🐕 When I was a kid, we got a dog from a blacksmith…

As soon as we got home, he made a bolt for the door.

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny

🤖 I'm reading a horror novel in braille. Something bad is about to happen…

I can feel it

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny

💵 I got offered money to participate in a sleep study…

It's my dream job!

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny