And as soon as #RosemaryChibota finishes her talk, #NielAnderson gets up and tells her story for her, instead of her being able to tell her own story during her own talk. The optics of this are really not as good as they think they are.

#GeneralCONference #ItsAllACON

And #DallinOaks ends by giving us his promise that he super-duper pinkie swears that everything you've heard at conference is true because he says it is. And a quick plug or two.

Now off to watch this morning's sessions to see what I missed.

#GeneralCONference #GenCONf #ItsAllACON

Anybody who had #MoralAgency on their #GeneralCONference bingo card can go ahead and put a skittle on it. Bednar has ascended and he's bringing his agenda. Hang the fuck on!

#GenCONf #ItsAllACON

#MoisesVillanueva says the quiet part out loud. "When we receive any blessing, it is predicated on that law". And what law is he talking about? TITHING! Of course! So, you don't get a single blessing until your account book is settled with the lord. He just gave away the game. #GenCONf #ItsAllACON

Aight, missed the Sunday AM session of #GeneralConference because life got in the way, but I'm tuning in to the Sunday PM session and will be reacting as I go. Stay tuned for lukewarm takes.

#GenCONf #ItsAllACON

And #MatthewEyring here brings it back with more dead kid stories. Why does an 8-hour cult programming session need so many dead children?!?! Why do so many things associated with Zion always lead to this same conclusion?!

#GeneralCONference #GenConf #ItsAllACON #FreePalestine

A pretty patronizing talk by #PatrickKearon about "Living in lift" (TM pending). Floating phrases like this takes an X factor of virality to catch wind. This is too spoonfeedish to be at all interesting or turn into a new moniker. Keep trying, buddy.

#GeneralCONference #ItsAllACON

#PatrickKearon starts by telling us how he wanted to learn to be a pilot as a kid, but instead had to first settle for learning how to fly a glider as a teenager in Oxfordshire. I love how relatable the new cohort of apostles is!

#GeneralCONference #ItsAllACON

Now #HutchFale cries his way through telling believing Mormon boomers that their kids WILL COME BACK TO THE CHURCH EVENTUALLY HE PROMISES!!!

Ugh, his cry talk is grating my sanity into powder.

#GenCONf #GeneralCONference #ItsAllACON

So far, Saturday Afternoon #GeneralCONference session is mostly sacrament meeting talks. I would post more during it, but there just isn't as much to sink my teeth into for a useful post. This session is far less deranged than Sat AM session was.

#GenCONf #ItsAllACON

#DToddChristofferson giving a talk about gambling is interesting. But one quote from it has me rolling: "[Gambling's] entire business model is built on its customers losing money."

Pot. I'd like to introduce you to kettle.

#GeneralCONference #ItsAllACON

#UlissesSoares' talk is kind of a throwaway about fasting. That is, until he shifts to talking about fast offering$, which is when he kicks into gear about how important it is to give money to the wealthiest religion, even the @churchofjesuschrist.social. #GenCONf #ItsAllACON #GeneralCONference

Wow, #Sikahema's talk ended with justifying his job and telling us that we should be willing to sacrifice everything, even when mourning a lost child, to hear the words of the apostles. "Let us not be guilty of holding the oracles of God as a light thing".

#GeneralConference #GenCONf #ItsAllACON

Now #GeraldCausee gets up to spend his entire talk justifying his job. Yes, I promise, I, as an apostle businessman, have a really important job and you can't question or criticize it. Trust me, my only job is to help you and not enrich the global @churchofjesuschrist.social. #GenCONf #ItsAllACON

Aight, *cracks knuckles*, it's #GeneralConference weekend for the @churchofjesuschrist.social. I'm getting started a little late today and tomorrow, but stay tuned for live coverage and lukewarm takes along the way.

#GeneralConf #GenCONf #ItsAllACON