#QuentinCook quoting "McKay" with "Happiness is the purpose and design of our existence" is hiding the ball. That's a quote from a letter Joseph Smith wrote to a 19-year-old daughter of a friend when propositioning her for sex. Cook could've said, "Quoting McKay quoting Joseph" but, no.

#GenCONf

And #DallinOaks ends by giving us his promise that he super-duper pinkie swears that everything you've heard at conference is true because he says it is. And a quick plug or two.

Now off to watch this morning's sessions to see what I missed.

#GeneralCONference #GenCONf #ItsAllACON

Getting some whiplash here. Last few talks were throwaways, but now #ClarkGilbert has taken the lectern to show his chops. Boy howdy, #Oaks must be pleased with this new-hire who's a spitting image of him. Clarbert is a harbinger for this church. He signals it's spiritual death. #GenCONf

A few sacrament meeting talks has created a bit of a lull. But the way #GaryStevensen ended his talk got a chuckle outta me. He's speaking to the kids and ends his talk with "Love, share, and invite." Like he's a YouTuber or something. If he's trying to coin this, he needed comedic timing. #GenCONf

Well, there are just some things you hear that are quite incredible to hear, but are nonetheless, not surprising at all. We'll be sure to mention that on the @glassboxpodcast.bsky.social episode about this #GenCONf.

Anybody who had #MoralAgency on their #GeneralCONference bingo card can go ahead and put a skittle on it. Bednar has ascended and he's bringing his agenda. Hang the fuck on!

#GenCONf #ItsAllACON

#MoisesVillanueva says the quiet part out loud. "When we receive any blessing, it is predicated on that law". And what law is he talking about? TITHING! Of course! So, you don't get a single blessing until your account book is settled with the lord. He just gave away the game. #GenCONf #ItsAllACON

#AndreaSpannaus' talk to young women can be summarized as follows: young women, when your life gets too hard or you run into a problem that seems unsolvable, find a man in your life to fix it.

That's the entire thing. It could've been given in the 1980s and it would've been backwards then. #GenCONf

Aight, missed the Sunday AM session of #GeneralConference because life got in the way, but I'm tuning in to the Sunday PM session and will be reacting as I go. Stay tuned for lukewarm takes.

#GenCONf #ItsAllACON

Gordon B. Hinckley said the same 21 years ago. I guess everyone needed a bit of a reminder that gambling is a very bad idea, both personally and societally. #lds #genconf #generalconference www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/genera...

We'll take and take; when the chips are down and you need something from us? I'll cast guidance and a GA-level healing word and that'll make you right as rain. Works in one fantasy system, so must work in the Mormon one too!

At least my friends and I admit when we're playing pretend. #GenCONf #DnD

And #MatthewEyring here brings it back with more dead kid stories. Why does an 8-hour cult programming session need so many dead children?!?! Why do so many things associated with Zion always lead to this same conclusion?!

#GeneralCONference #GenConf #ItsAllACON #FreePalestine

Now #HutchFale cries his way through telling believing Mormon boomers that their kids WILL COME BACK TO THE CHURCH EVENTUALLY HE PROMISES!!!

Ugh, his cry talk is grating my sanity into powder.

#GenCONf #GeneralCONference #ItsAllACON

Okay, #PatricioGiuffra turns the session by talking about an elderly woman who couldn't afford living, let alone tithing. Asked his MP if there were exceptions for her. "You are no one to deny this sister the blessings of the law of tithing!" was the response. #GenCONf loan sharking here.

So far, Saturday Afternoon #GeneralCONference session is mostly sacrament meeting talks. I would post more during it, but there just isn't as much to sink my teeth into for a useful post. This session is far less deranged than Sat AM session was.

#GenCONf #ItsAllACON

#DaleRenlund talks about a man complaining about cold oatmeal after a heart transplant surgery. Likens this to complaining after Egypt exodus. God asked Moses, "how long until they believe in me?" God asking a mortal man this question kinda fucks up the whole omniscient thing, doesn't it? #GenConf

Okay, #DToddChristofferson's talk about gambling is one of the few good talks today. I actually agree with pretty much everything so far. But my favorite thing about the talk is substituting "Mormoning" for every "gambling". With this change, the talk is far more prescient and useful. #GenCONf

#UlissesSoares' talk is kind of a throwaway about fasting. That is, until he shifts to talking about fast offering$, which is when he kicks into gear about how important it is to give money to the wealthiest religion, even the @churchofjesuschrist.social. #GenCONf #ItsAllACON #GeneralCONference

#KevinHathaway just told us his group was hit by a truck on the way to do temple work. Everybody was fine, but how could they not take that as a sign when everything else in the world is a sign of one kind or another?! Clearly god did NOT want money changing in his temple that day! #GenCONf

Wow, #Sikahema's talk ended with justifying his job and telling us that we should be willing to sacrifice everything, even when mourning a lost child, to hear the words of the apostles. "Let us not be guilty of holding the oracles of God as a light thing".

#GeneralConference #GenCONf #ItsAllACON