We work at 40 brpm. Bacon rolls per minute #InversneckyCafe #Aberdeen #Aberdeenbeach #SundayFunday #LunchPun

'What soothes the wind?'
'Chimes?'
'Nargh... charcoal tablets'
#joke #funny #jokes #LunchPun

This gives me a chill. #InversneckyCafe #Aberdeen #AberdeenBeach #Inversnecky #ColdSeason #LunchPun

A huge embroidered strip illustrating the discovery of aspirin.

The Bayer Tapestry.

#LunchPun

#LunchPun #badjokethursday I was once cast as the lead stand-in for a theatre musical about the Cuban dictator, Castro. After a while I realised I was not going to get my big chance so left as I was fed up with playing second Fidel.

Remember that time the USSR threatened to flood the west with prayer books illustrated by Picasso and Braque?

The Cubist Missal Crisis.

#LunchPun

DFS are launching a range of sporting furniture

First up

Peter Couch

#Lunchpun

I fixed the trip switch at the brothel and ended up turning on the lights

#LunchPun

Given the number of child-attracted sexual predators working at an oblivious BBC in the seventies and eighties, the prevalent management style could be described as no nonce sense.

#LunchPun

When I worked at the BBC, I used to read the traffic news about accidents and traffic jams.

Auto queues?

No, from a piece of paper.

#Lunchpun

#LunchPun
When you're trying to make money from tourism persuading people that a fictional king lived in the area is Arthur battle.

- My mate always ridicules Alton Towers

- Derides?

- Everything about it really.

#LunchPun

Tiger has Woods but he's lost his driver!
#LunchPun #golf

My mate does a lot of voluntary work
for the community. He often the helps police
with their enquires, unpaid.
When we were young, he always wanted to be a
suspect when he grew up!
#joke #funny #jokes #LunchPun