Racism. So wrong and yet so white.

#LunchPun

If you missed my social media posts on the risks of explosive reactions in animal fodder... don't worry. They won't be blowing up your feed anytime soon.

#LunchPun #Jokes

The correct term for thing that connects a woman's vagina to her arsehole is a wedding.

#LunchPun

I had no idea what to do when I left school so I became a farrier on the hoof. #Lunchpun

The children of police officers always go to bed on time or they're charged with resisting a rest.

#LunchPun

I love Autumn in our local church. The Vicar and the congregation all wear crop tops.
It’s the Half Vest Festival. #LunchPun

Isaac Newton's epoch changing discoveries.
The gravity of their implications were lost on society.
#joke #funny #jokes #LunchPun

The recipe said ‘the oven needs to be turned to 180 degrees.’

But if I did that I wouldn’t be able to get the door open.

#LunchPun

The depressed city with the most malaise in the world is Kuala Lumpur. #LunchPun

#LunchPun
They love rodents at the Bank of England that's why interested rats are being held.

- I've found out I'm related to the England goalkeeper's family
- Pickfords?
- Yes, appropriately enough, once removed

#LunchPun

If your Dominos order matches another customer's Dominos order, you win and can pick up another pizza from the stack.

#LunchPun

My Dad used to paint the oars with emulsion down at the rowing club. It gave him a chance to show off his silky sculls. #Lunchpun

When covering gifts I use pages from the Hip Hop Telegraph as rapping paper.

#LunchPun

Mega author Dan Brown has announced his new book is based on the mystery behind Leonardo's sketch of a fish

Coming soon

The Da Vinci Cod

#Lunchpun #HaveALaugh

The NHS are now using Casualty
back episodes for training and diagnoses!
#joke #funny #jokes #LunchPun

My parents went to Beijing to study Chinese philosophy and all they brought me was this Lao Tze t-shirt.

#LunchPun