💼 I made six figures last year…

I was also named worst employee at the toy factory.

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny

🐕 When I was a kid, we got a dog from a blacksmith…

As soon as we got home, he made a bolt for the door.

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny

🤖 I'm reading a horror novel in braille. Something bad is about to happen…

I can feel it

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny

💵 I got offered money to participate in a sleep study…

It's my dream job!

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny

🌲 How many apples do you think grow on a tree?

All of them!!

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny

🛶 How do you paddle a passive canoe?

Either oar

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny

Quand ta mère fait une blague nulle mais tu veux quand même lui demander quelque chose. 😂

#Memes #MomJokes #Humor #Relatable #Funny

😄 Not sure if you've noticed, but I love bad puns…

That’s just how eye roll.

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny

💤 I found stir fry all over my bed this morning…

I must have been sleep wokking again.

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny

📖 I'm currently reading a book on DIY house construction by Bill Jerome Holmes.

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny

🎭 I've got some good jokes about umbrellas…

but they usually go over people’s heads.

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny

🎵 I spent ages trying to work out the meaning of 'inconsequential' before realising that it wasn't that important.

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny

🎨 It doesn't have to get done, it just needs to be perfect. ~ Ancient ADHD Proverb

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny

🦷 Trees don't have teeth, they're all bark and no bite!

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny

🎩 Did you hear that Mozart got rid of his chickens?

They wouldn't shut up about “Bach, Bach, Bach.”

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny

🎤 All of the fortune tellers I've met are either really depressing or overly enthusiastic…

Why can't I find a happy medium?

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny

📋 My son needs a job. I told him he should apply for Search & Rescue…

They're always looking for someone.

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny

⚙️ I got fired from the keyboard factory…

They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan #funny