What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad.

#dadjoke #humor #humoursky

What did the astronaut say when he stepped in gum?

I'm stuck in orbit!

#dadjoke #jokes #humoursky

I managed to swap a root vegetable for some novels. That was a turnip for the books!
#humour #humoursky

My wife asked me to run round with the vacuum cleaner, which makes the 400m hurdles a bit of a challenge.
#humour #humoursky

What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?

Rude-olph!

#dadjoke #jokes #humoursky

You never see me and Brian May in the same room at the same time, do you...
#humour #humoursky

Is there a hole in your shoe? No… Then how'd you get your foot in it?

#dadjoke #humor #humoursky

Why did the pole vaulter become a real estate agent?

He was great at clearing high bars.

#dadjoke #jokes #humoursky

My mate's got a kind face.
A kind you want to slap.
#humour #humoursky

Do you know what I find is a pain in the bum?
Cactus underpants.
#humour #humoursky

I predict that you will read this.

Nailed it.

#humour #humoursky

I learn from my mistakes, usually how to make bigger and better ones.
#humour #humoursky

Why did the marathon runner go to the eye doctor?

He couldn't see the finish line.

#dadjoke #humor #humoursky

What do you call a noodle that's always telling the truth?

An honest-a pasta.

#dadjoke #jokes #humoursky

When I read between the lines,
I find there's just blank space.
#humour #humoursky

Why did the organ player get locked out of the church?

He lost his keys.

#dadjoke #humor #humoursky

I never jump to conclusions.
I always drive.
#humour #humoursky

Why did the teddy bear say "no" to dessert? Because she was stuffed.

#dadjoke #jokes #humoursky

We have a "Dinner's ready" alarm. Surprisingly, it also acts as a smoke alarm.
#humour #humoursky

I just got a paper cut, so now I'm not allowed as much paper.
#humour #humoursky