#LunchPun
The police had to phone an ambulance for the clothing thief who had suffered from a cardigan arrest.

I failed my bullfighters exam as I was unable to find the correct entrance to the ring.
I couldn’t Picador. #LunchPun

Primark's new string vest range
is their response to the physics
String Theory.
#joke #funny #jokes #LunchPun

Ruing the day means something very different to Australians.

#LunchPun

#LunchPun
I was thinking of Polos how did you know that? You must be a mint reader.

I've spent too long looking through these ancient documents predicting the end of the world but I just can't stop doom scrolling

#LunchPun

My friend Penelope sings the high notes in our Male Voice Choir.

Tenor Penny?

No, they're quite rare actually.

#Lunchpun

Are adult chatline operators examples of blue caller workers?

#LunchPun

#LunchPun #badjokethursday I once investigated an untidy break in at a designer toilet shop by rioters. One of the stolen, trendy lavatories looked like a tall, silver, musical triangle. It was a very nasty case of loo-ting.

Famer Giles in the pub bragging about
his latest milk production:
'Play'em music in't parlour!'
'What "Fiddler On the Hoof", "Heard it On the Bovine"?'
'Nargh... "You Can't Slurry Love"!'
#joke #funny #jokes #LunchPun

The patron saint of cooking is St. Ove.

#LunchPun

And thanks to autocorrect for changing it to St One earlier.

Can I sell you a minor injuries first aid kit?.
No, I’m not interested.
Oh well, Suture self. #LunchPun

My application to open a hyena farm was thrown out by the planning committee and now I'm just a laughing stock.
#LunchPun

#LunchPun

The smallest pub in the world is called the T-rex arms

I just broke up a fight in the nursing home between two women with Parkinsons, about who owned the cosmetics. I insisted they make up and shake hands.

#LunchPun

My spare bedroom is full of advertising signs from various football grounds.

It's a bit of a hoarding situation.

#LunchPun #Jokes

I sometimes do sponsored roman battle re-enactments, but I don't like to talk about my charioty work.

#LunchPun

Someone's stolen my sun lounger. I'm not going to take this lying down. #Lunchpun