“What I don’t understand” whispered Clara, “is how Amelia can be off key when her part is just ‘la, la, la’”.

The snack would be a Snickers bar?

“Why would I want to get into a train?” asked Euphemia. “I thought you were taking me up the aisle”

Like “The Sun” then?

It was good news for the people who make customs barriers and passport control systems. I hear that venture capitalists made a fortune “shorting” the Pound. They’ll do that again of course when Britain eventually goes back in.

3 or 4 excellent stools while walking to work! I guess just squatting in the gutter like a marathon runner, or nipping up a side street. It’s not like he could dash into Wetherspoons is it.

😳

Or Dungeon Crawler Carl

Ears don’t have bones though. This error invalidates the entire set up.

Get “up and doing” the wrong sort of things though and you’ll find your father will put you out on the street without a second thought.

Future? One just has to find the right calibre of staff.

Did you get a lot of people to contribute towards the cost of your tattoos Sir Michael? Maybe you should crowd-fund your next “sleeve” (or your legal costs, no one will mind if you spend the money raised for tattoos on something else).

… or a ladies maid called Alexa who can tell you when it’s time to get up, what the weather will be like and can entertain you by reading, singing or playing musical instruments.

Based on popular culture, avoid living in places with names like The Forbidden Forest. Watch out for policemen with magical abilities too. Other than that I guess you’ll be fine, until a small child asks Santa for a real unicorn for Christmas.

You want a dark wizard to drink your blood so they can maintain a half-life existence in another man’s body?

I’m surprised that you’re allowing comments on this post.

“…if the wool gets stuck in your ears you’ll find that it can easily be removed by the judicious use of a pencil or a bud of cotton on a stick.” Note added in 2026. Please do not try this at home

I was thinking of a caption about the game of “Statues” but couldn’t find a suitable phrase.

Isn’t this supposed to be anonymous? How many people have the word “tattoo” tattooed on their chest? (Several replies indicate that there may be lots of people who have this tattoo) Well that’s not much of a fess then is it? Look at all these people…