see? they were in there the whole time, just,, waiting for somepony to take them out,,,

btw if you ever get worried about me then dont because i basically lie about everything and i deserve everything that happens to me

someone pleaaaase just let me cut myself for them

i wonder why my body isnt processing these drugs properly. oh right. i havent been able to eat an actual meal in 16 hours

this is what my headspace is like once the distractions run out and everyone i know can only talk to me through 6 inches of thick frosted glass. what is even the point of existing as myself. my only achievement will be dragging the rest of this sysyem down with me

i fucking hate amphetamines just let me sleep

the mania is all a coached delusion to keep myself from you know what. i cant imagine a random sexual encounter being anything but embarassing for me. theres it nothing to offer in my perspective, my personality, my heart or my body. i cant even inspire hatred, the emotion i evoke is ambivalence

when other people post shit like this it inspires sympathy. you want to see them get better and do what you can for them. when i do it its just annoying. a constant drain on the emotions of the few people left who care

im operating on a level where in all regards i am objectively inferior to everyone i know. i am everyones least favorite friend, least lovable least fuckable least interesting person in their vicinity. people grow closer and i only get more distant as i cant keep up

<3

id ask you to put me out of my misery but thats more emotional investment than i could ask of anypony so i hope you can at least enjoy watching me do it myself bit by bit

if you ever feel down just stick a gun in my mouth and make me feel the hammer cock back and click over and over again with my tongue

✨ See you in my dreams

a second ponysona has hit the rosemary. we still haven’t even finished S01 of FiM <suggestive text>

<snuff, trypophobia> cognitohazard fetish art =:3

having ocd means being obsessed with patterns and symmetry and neatness which is why i cut both legs to make sure theyre even