I’d like that very much. I think most people would

Someone should make an adaptation of Carrie where all her classmates are nice to her instead. Problem solved

Just lightly rear-ended this guy and he died instantly

I honestly think if someone ever told Trump the "Real eyes/ realize/ real lies" poem he would talk about it in every single speech and rally he did until he died

They couldn’t make the 2002 Joel Schumacher film Phone Booth starring Colin Farrell today because there’s no more frickin phone booths

I think whether it's true or not it's arguably more true than a lot of stuff we're constantly being told is true, if that makes sense

Someone told me a while back that every year they offer this to R.L. Stine and every year he politely declines so they can give it to someone who maybe needs it more than he does. If true, it really speaks to his humility as a writer and kindness as a human being. Don't know if it's true though.

I bet we could get Trump to watch Other Mommy

Wow!

three days they could have been scrolling. waste of time

Oh so it's a crime to help your friends now?

I’m proud of my normal friend!!

Oh yeah oh YEAH OH YEAH

Millions of voters like me will be sending a message to Washington next month. Whole Foods used to stock whole wheat linguine and then they stopped completely. And we’re sick of it

Pretty much impossible to find whole wheat linguine anywhere these days. That’s why I’m voting blue in November

Donating my $500 Trump check to the National Guard so they can continue keeping my neighborhood safe