On this day 1971, boxer Muhammad Ali visited Tesco at Stretford’s Arndale shopping precinct to promote Ovaltine.

Amazing, thank you

I’m, er, ‘happy’ to report that his magnum opus remains live and still… engorged with content

In case anyone misses the alt text: ‘Head Shot’ by Tom Stables, Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards 2016

Monday

I want to know if he’s got a brother “who is also a tiger”

I can’t think of anything, so I’m going to ruin a book by adding a letter: Right Hoe, Jeeves

Hahaha, indeed. Horrible little man

Yes!

No! A diet not unlike Jordan Peterson’s, but Pepys had the excuse that nobody knew any better in the 17th century

An ‘electuary’ is a “medicinal conserve or paste, consisting of a powder or other ingredient mixed with honey, preserve, or syrup of some kind”, according to the Oxford English Dictionary. Will it work, though...? WATCH THIS SPACE, PEPYS’ BOWEL FANS!

You’ll be delighted to hear that, since it’s 11 October, it’s time—YES, THAT’S RIGHT!—to ‘celebrate’ the 363rd anniversary of this entry from the Diary of Samuel Pepys, in which... well, you probably get the idea by now

No! Oh, I’ve forgotten to update you today, haven’t I…? On it

Thank you! Very kind

Opening line of The Crow Road!

I don’t like to boast, but if you think this is nasty, I’ve just written something for Tuesday, and… crikey

Blimey. I mean: there are Catholic families, and there are Catholic families…

I hadn’t thought of it that way, but yes

Thank you. Me too, obviously