PINNED TWEET: It’s a cat. That panther you saw, that wolf, that yeti, that ghost, that strange light in the sky. Cat. It’s always a cat.

Don’t get me started on the Foo Fighters. Not a penny raised has gone toward fighting foo.

The “Beats off” Chronicles day one hundred and fifty-six: If you don’t know, urban dictionary is your friend* * a filthy and disturbing friend who you avoid in public places

Pop Bands in the News day twenty-eight: Nirvana. Kurt’s sold out to the suits, man (And we left the American Psycho reference in at the top, just because)

RESIDENTS: “Please do something about the parking round here, it’s a tragedy waiting to happen” COUNCIL: “Aye, leave it with us” ~~~ one year later, there are double yellow lines and everyone has parking tickets ~~~ RESIDENTS: “NO NOT THAT”

Not surprising, they’ve got crates of celebrity autobiographies round the back, and at least some of them - by the law of averages - could be “Hollywood’s Biggest Names”.

Big problem there as dogs can’t read.

“…and that’s why I’m asking you to send me a £500 Amazon Gift Card. Queen Camilla is here too” “Hello I’m queen Cammila”

“You want to knock down these scabby garages and build social housing? But what about my car?”

Tried the local pie shop yesterday. Friday is going to be pie day from now on.

Mr Daradan has also played “Older man in lederhosen” and I fear he’s going to end up typecast.

This is as exciting as it gets in Henley-on-Thames

Wanna feel old? This is what S Club Juniors look like today.

Enid Blyton’s latest has Dick being a dick in the kebab shop because they didn’t have ginger beer. Don’t be a dick like Dick.

A reminder of our top ten list of angry professions: Taxi drivers Chefs & Restaurateurs Market traders Shopkeepers Farmers Publicans Parish Councillors Driving instructors Motorway Traffic Officers The retired

…but SATISFACTORY nonetheless

And the had Corrie on satellite an’ all!

We’ve been allll over this.