On Frank’s first day of work. His boss gave him the employees manual and said, “Back to the Salt mines.”
They took the elevator to an office full of salt.
“You weren’t kidding about salt mines.”
He handed Frank a shovel. “These are offices. You work 20 floors down.” #TwtStory

The CDC doctors warned the med student, “The patient we’re about to see is crusty.”
The student puffed out his chest. “I can handle a bad attitude.”
The next day they visited him in quarantine. The same crust covered his body.
“You were right, Doc. It’s contagious.” #TwtStory

The office manager pointed to the corpse. “I warned him about the deadline. But he wouldn’t listen.”
The cop crossed the red stripe to look closer, clutched his heart and collapsed beside the corpse.
The manager groaned. “Nobody takes my warnings seriously.” #TwtStory

“I warn you. My brother’s a flake,” Sue told her boyfriend.
“No problem. I’ve dealt with irresponsible people.”
“No, Jeff’s very reliable.” A sliver of toasted corn floated from the kitchen and dropped onto the coffee table. She lifted it with her nails. “Meet Jeff.” #TwtStory

The Doctor showed Tom to his new table. “It’s a timetable. Place your hands on it and think of a date.”
Tom suddenly appeared in 1898. A beautiful girl sat at the next table. He rose to greet her and the table disappeared. Maybe he should’ve learned the rules first. #TwtStory

#TwtStory Upcoming: Five tweet stories on the subject: Euphemisms

Ugg suffered two brutes for years until she disposed of both and moved in with Growl, who spoke poetry, meaning sentences longer than three words. Growl also spoke poetry to her rivals Snarl and Yowl. After she bashed him she retired, richer than any man in the village. #TwtStory

Clark wandered into the control room where he found Rachel at the console. “Wasn’t I just here?”
“Having exactly the same conversation.”
“Is this like déjà vu?”
Rachel checked the console. “Next time read the goddam manual before you launch the time travel machine.” #TwtStory

Grunt loved Ugg. Grr loved Ugg too. Grr challenged Grunt to combat. Being ten seasons younger, he won and moved in with Ugg. Grr couldn’t hunt and behaved like a dick. Ugg bashed Grr in his sleep, said a bear killed him, and moved in with Growl who she loved all along. #TwtStory

Robin stepped into the bat cave. “Déjà vu. Like I’ve been here before.”
Batman steered him to the computer. “You have.”
“The TV is so familiar. And the colors. What did you call the tea?”
“Ayahuasca. And next time remember, the Joker doesn’t offer tea from kindness.” #TwtStory

Grunt loved Ugg. Ugg allowed Grunt to touch her because he hunted more game than other suitors. Grunt and Ugg had six children—Little Grunt, Littler Grunt, and so on. Little Grunt loved Littler Ugg. Grunt and Ugg felt gross, but years of inbreeding left them unsure why. #TwtStory

Grunt spotted Ugg bending over by the river. He felt a strange stirring in his loins. “Grunt love Ugg” He whacked her with his war club. She grabbed the club and whacked him back, then drug him to her cave.
The chief said, “Know who wears loin cloth in that family.” #TwtStory

Clarice groaned. “Déjà vu. As though I told our son a thousand times, he needs to clean the laundry room.”
Her husband said, “We don’t have a son.”
“Someone needs to clean the laundry room.”
“I’ve told you a thousand times it won’t be me.”
“There it is. déjà vu again.” #TwtStory

Cole poured the Lucky Charms into his Kliban Cat bowl, topped it with sugar and milk. “You know. This cereal is exactly like the cereal I had the day before, and the day before that. Milk too. Think it’s déjà vu?” His mother put the milk in the icebox, “Poor Decisions.” #TwtStory

Grunt said to Ugg, “Me caveman. You cave woman. We mate.”
Ugg replied, “You not caveman. You cave person.”
“Me man.”
“No, moron. You person. Me person. Man, woman sexist.”
Grunt stormed off. This fucking PC bullshit wasn’t supposed to happen for another 10,000 years. #TwtStory

Chad took the test from his teacher, every answer redlined with a note at the top: “Read the directions for once.”
Chad showed the paper to his buddy Bud. “Déjà vu all over again.”
Bud returned the paper. “Maybe that would change if you bothered to read directions.” #TwtStory

#TwtStory Upcoming: Five tweet stories on the subject: Cavemen in love

Advantage to writing a #TwtStory No. 10: Generates ideas for longer, publishable stories. Join me with 270 character stories using the x/bsky neutral tag

#TwtStory
#AmWriting #writers #write #MicroFiction #fictionwriter #writerswednesday

#TwtStory Upcoming: Five tweet stories on the subject: Déjà vu

Old Bill was 83 years old when the expedition found him on a South Pacific island. Shipwrecked when he was 19. Back in the US he was appalled by social media, streaming video, and tribal politics. He would’ve gone back to the island. Until he discovered internet porn. #TwtStory