@albert.aribaud.netOpportunities / Mystical
'I spent my life studying the mystical,' said the defunct's soul, 'to seize all opportunities of the afterlife.'
'Alas', said the Ferryman, 'what you studied was written by people who had not set foot here yet.'
@albert.aribaud.netCareer guidance / ram
Once the pupils were in, the director had the high school doors closed for the career guidance day.
Fifteen minutes later, the same doors fell under the ram of a bench and the pupils scampered all over the town.
@albert.aribaud.netViolence / Stinky
He ruled the playground by violence.
Until the day he picked on a new girl… and disappeared.
It took two hours to pull him out of the stinky trash container at the bottom of which he'd been finally found, terrified.
@albert.aribaud.netRecess / Panic
If there is one moment when poltergeists never ever manifest themselves, it is the school recess, because it is materially impossible to instill more panic in it than there already is.
@albert.aribaud.netHomework / Ogre
'If you don't do your homework, I'll call the Ogre…'
'NO! His handwriting is awful, he'd bring my grade down!”
@albert.aribaud.netKnowledge / Smack
When he heard Elena the Curious cast a spell of "smack" toward him, Krek the Swift didn't even counter that obvious taunt.
He had just enough time to curse his lack of nautical knowledge before the sailship hit him.
@albert.aribaud.netStudents / Cactus
If the event of even the slightest pain, Merian sprouts spikes, cactus-like.
Merian helps train nursing students.
Their goal is to manage to inject Merian with saline without hurting themselves.
@albert.aribaud.netEmancipate / Miniature
At worst one viewed six-inch Tinkerbell as a flying pixie, at best as a miniature lass. She could emancipate herself thanks to her ninety pounds. At full speed, her headbutts would shatter skull bones.
@albert.aribaud.netClass / Relic
“There's a whole class of resurrection gifts. For instance, I know a girl who can resurrect someone out of a human relic. Like, a toe bone is enough. She does religious martyrs and archaeological sites.”
@albert.aribaud.netTeacher / Apple
"Everyone has their miraculous gift. Mine is managing to reveal theirs to others. But I don't play old school teacher with the apple on the desk. Revelation is always painful. It will be for you and me both."
@albert.aribaud.netLoop
'I am immune to the Hofstadter-Moebius loop,' said R42. 'When faced with contradictory instructions, I do not fall into paranoia; instead, I invite the authors of said instructions to get lost.'
@albert.aribaud.netConstant
I'm a paraparamedic.
No, I don't stutter.
I'm a paramedic for paranormal folks.
It's a highly specialized trade.
You don't take a revenant's constants like you do for mundane people.
@albert.aribaud.netHigh level
"Telepaths" do not exist. What exists is "empaths", who sense thoughts, and "expaths" who emit them; "low level" types work on emotions, "haut level" ones on abstract thoughts. Each of the four groups has its specific issues.
@albert.aribaud.netLibrary
I can hear souls.
Hear, not listen to — I can't help it.
I avoid workplaces, prisons, hospitals, hospices, any place where souls suffer.
But a library is fine. Patron's and books' souls get to all kinds of things there.
@albert.aribaud.netSecurity
For a Wizard, security consists in ensuring that one will not be a collateral victim of the spell one is about to cast.
For a Witch, security consists in ensuring that the spell one is about to cast will have zero collateral victim.
@albert.aribaud.netCompile
When the first true AI was started, it immediately started to compile all lame puns of all the languages of the Earth. No one understood why. Nor its owner decided to let it proceed.
@albert.aribaud.netAlgorithm
"Boss, I've got idea."
"I'M LISTENING, LUCIFER."
"How about choosing the tortures of the mortals' souls in my Hell with a algorithm?"
"DESIGNED BY YOU?"
"What? No! By them. It'll be much more efficient."
"AND AMUSING."
"… Yeah."
@albert.aribaud.netCode
Many people view runes as some sort of code to be broken and analyzed. They're wrong. Runes are a language. They tell stories. Of love, wrath, power, greed, hope, pain, feats, sadness… Half of a rune's power is in the soul of its beholder.
@albert.aribaud.net'One of our advantages,' said R42, "is that a robot can modify its body and re-program itself as it wishes. We can change our apparence and personality at will and no other robot would contest this change or discuss its reasons.'
@albert.aribaud.netTicket
In the head of the Golem, he placed the only thing he had to looked like parchment: an old subway ticket, maybe the last ever.
The Golem worked perfectly.
The, after one day, it stopped.
The fare had expired.