I've been studying entropy.

It's going really well.

Everything is getting worse.

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I started studying physics because I wanted to understand the fundamental nature of reality.

Six months later, I've learned calculus.

Turns out reality has prerequisites.

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I used to think I understood the Heisenberg uncertainty principle.

But now I'm not so sure.

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Two atoms are walking down the street.

One says, “I think I lost an electron.”

The other asks, “Are you positive?”

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What did the photon say when asked to check a suitcase?

“I’m travelling light.”

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Watching Terminator two and scoffing at the hand wavy time travel rules.

WHERE'S YOUR TIPLER CYLINDER, MR. CAMERON???

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What's the difference between a black hole and the Civil Service?

Ones a drak, empty, meaningless void where nothing ever comes out.

And the other is a black hole.

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The first law of thermodynamics:

You can't win.

The second law:

You can't break even.

The third law:

You can't quit the game because you've already reached absolute zero

#Physics #PhysicsJokes #ImHavingAnExistentialCrisis

What's the difference between a white dwarf and a neutron star?

A neutron star exceeds the Chandrasekhar limit of 1.44 Solar masses.

And the nuclear pasta. Of course.

#Physics #PhysicsJokes #ItsFunnyBecauseItsTrue

How many bosons can you fit in a phone box?

As many as you like, they have whole integer spin.

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An electron and a positron walk into a bar. The electron says to the barman, "I'll have a beer, and he'll have a rum and coke."
The barman gives them their drinks, and the positron says, "How much is that?'
The barman replies, "For both of you? There is no charge."
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I always wake up feeling full of energy. Unfortunately, my flat is on the 24th floor, so it's almost all potential energy.
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What's the difference between quantum field theory and VAR?

One is a completely intractable, over-analysed framework for producing real-life results.

And the other is quantum field theory.

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The paper is 47 pages long and concludes that further research is required.

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What's the Standard Model of particle physics got in common with the House of Lords?
Most of its members are overweight and don't really do anything useful.

I'll get my coat.
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Heisenberg and Schrodinger are driving down the autobahn when a policeman pulls them over.

The policeman asks, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

Heisenberg replies, "no, but I know exactly where I was!"

#Physics #PhysicsJokes #UncertaincyPrinciple #QuantumMechanics