As I was saying to the landlord only this morning, "You can't have everything."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Hemmingway avoids New York, for he has the most valuable asset an artist can possess - the fear of what he knows is bad for him.

#DorothyParker #Parker

To Sam Goldwyn, who asked her at dinner: "Do you really say all those things which the papers report that you say?"
"Do you?"

#DorothyParker #Parker

To Sam Goldwyn, who asked her at dinner: "Do you really say all those things which the papers report that you say?"
"Do you?"

#DorothyParker #Parker

On being asked if she was going to join Alcoholics Anonymous :
"Certainly not. They'd want me to stop now."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Love is for unlucky folk,
Love is but a curse.
Once there was a heart I broke:
And that, I think, is worse.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Of a play by Channing Pollock:
"The House Beautiful" is The Play Lousy.

#DorothyParker #Parker

When the New Yorker editor, Harold Ross, asked her why she hadn't been to the office during the week to write her usual piece:
"Someone was using the pencil."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Telegram sent to two friends who had been living together and then got married:
"WHAT'S NEW?"

#DorothyParker #Parker

The ugliest modern gesture - that of a man looking at his wrist-watch!

#DorothyParker #Parker

When the New Yorker editor, Harold Ross, asked her why she hadn't been to the office during the week to write her usual piece:
"Someone was using the pencil."

#DorothyParker #Parker

...Why is it no one ever sent me yet
One perfect limousine, do you suppose?
Ah no, it's just my luck to get
One perfect rose.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Did I enjoy the party? One more drink and I'd have been under the host.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Observation

If I don't drive around the park,
I'm pretty sure to make my mark.
If I'm in bed each night by ten,
I may get back my looks again.
If I abstain from fun and such,
I'll probably amount to much.
But I shall stay the way I am,
Because I do not give a damn.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Of a mongrel:
"All too obviously, it was the living souvenir of a mother who had never been able to say no."

#DorothyParker #Parker

To a neighbour who tolder her her dog was a female:
"I always call dogs 'he'. It don't do to notice everything."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Sure, you make Money writing on the coast, and God knows you earn it, but that money is like so much compressed snow. It goes so fast it melts in your hand.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Asked what she did for fun:
"Everything that isn't writing is fun."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Paying her last respects to Scott Fitzgerald as eh lay in an undertaker's parlor in Los Angeles, and quoting the words of a mourner at the funer of Jay Gatsby:
"The poor son-of-a-bitch!"

#DorothyParker #Parker

Under interrogation by the FBI in 1952:
Listen, I can't even get my dog to stay down. Do I look like someone who could overthrow the goverment?

#DorothyParker #Parker