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@oz-penguin.bsky.social Sep 22, 2026, 3:37 AM

For #hobbitday #hobbitday2026, a piece of doggerel inspired by two separate talks at #ozmoot in Canberra in January 2026.

At top, drawing of a hobbit, face down, in a pool of blood. A large pitchfork is sticking out of the hobbit's back.

Below this is the text of a poem, which reads as follows:

Midsomer in Middle Earth

Old Tom Barnaby was a clever fellow;
Detective Chief Inspector, at Troy he would bellow.
Solving crimes in quick time the nastier the better,
married to Joyce he was, who always was a fretter.
But all in Causton now were dead, a situation dire.
Ho! Tom found himself transferred to the Shire.

Farmer Maggot was found dead in a field of marrow;
Old Tom climbed the hill, knocking on the barrow.
‘So, Mister Barrow-wight, about the crime in question,
what now can you tell me, for there is the suggestion,
that you drove the gardening fork, deep in Maggot’s back,
because he had quite angered you, an alibi you lack.’

‘Hoo, Tom Barnaby, you gave me such a fright;
but I can tell you nothing as I was home all night.’
But Barrow-wight had no one else to verify his story,
he went before the Mayor, charged with the crime so gory.
Found guilty he was shut up in a lock hole deep,
beneath Michel Delving where dirty waters seep.

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