The faceless shadow who stands behind me in the mirror and helps put my tie on straight just won't stop talking about its nootropic stack. Kind of a tricky situation. Like I'm happy you've found something that works for you guy but stop trying to push it on me

#OctoberScaries #nonsense

Can of insecticide... but for humans! Homicide,

#OctoberScaries #nonsense

You hear? They found the guy all the jack-o-lanterns are based on. They say that now that he's caught, they're going to roll out a new and spookier seasonal vegetable. What? No I didn't ask. A medical condition I assume. Uh huh. Well I guess it could be coke

#OctoberScaries #nonsense

The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Beast

#OctoberScaries #nonsense

Hidden away in the attic up a set of stairs that my legs no longer have the strength to ascend: The portrait of my calves that just keep getting flabbier and paler even as my own calves appear to be supernaturally tight and tanned

#OctoberScaries #nonsense

The middle-aged vampire poster: My doctor said I can only have one chalice of blood a day... but he didn't say how big of a chalice... [AI-generated image of an unliftably huge cup labelled 'blood']

#OctoberScaries #nonsense

I accidentally got in the teleporter with a blowfly but fortunately it just swapped our back muscles. And I tell you what this fly has some TRAPS
#OctoberScaries #nonsense

Actually, I think you'll find, a certain "Mister Hitchcock", has a thing, or two to say about, "Angry Birds",

#OctoberScaries #nonsense

couple of local kids staked Dracula. he turned into a cloud to get away and they vaped him. most fucked up thing... they straight up vaped him man. i don't even know if it was malice, it was like they were just operating on instinct. weren't filming a tiktok or nothing.
#OctoberScaries #nonsense

They're making a new Pokemon game where you work in an abattoir
#OctoberScaries #nonsense

Saw a telepresence robot deep in the woods, far off the trails. It was lodged in a mire. Slowly sinking. There was nobody on the video feed but the robot begged me for help. I just watched. It offered me gold, rare incenses, wealth beyond imagining, answers. Makes you think
#OctoberScaries #nonsense

R. L. Stine returns for his first novel in ten years! Nightmare on Scream Lane will join such works as Fear Street, Ghosts of Fear Street, A Shocker on Shock Street, Escape Nightmare Crescent, Scary Road of Screams, and the long-awaited Nightmare on Nightmare Street.
#OctoberScaries #nonsense

Even scarier praying mantis that chews her partner's head off while mating but then shouts absolutely lurid invective down the neckhole
#OctoberScaries #nonsense

i have become a gameshow host. that's right. i have been parasitised by a gameshow and hundreds of its young crawl beneath my skin
#OctoberScaries #nonsense