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@jodyhouser.bsky.social Sep 20, 2026, 3:18 AM

I've written Batman a few times, but the Mother Panic Batman Special from the Milk Wars event was easily the most unhinged. You get a rant and one of my favorite jokes in these pages. Art by @tytempleton.bsky.social and Keiren Smith. #batmanday #happybatmanday #motherpanic

PAGE 16
Panel 1 (Flashback) - A gun firing, the flash from the muzzle.
FATHER BRUCE (CAPTION)
"I should know. The milk and the machine took away my own pain..."
SFX
BLAM! BLAM!
Panel 2 (Flashback) - The hands of Martha and Thomas Wayne on the ground. Close, but not quite
touching in death. Martha's broken pearl necklace lies on the ground by the hands, two loose pearls
nearby. The rest of the pearls are still knotted onto the broken string because that's how pearl necklaces
work. Every comic/movie/TV show has gotten this wrong and we're going to do it right, damn it.
Necklace broken in the middle, all but two pearls still knotted onto the string. This is now one of my
longest panel descriptions ever because this makes me THAT mad.
Panel 3 (Flashback) - Young Bruce, in his funeral suit, kneeling by his parents' graves as lightning flashes
and a storm rages.
Panel 4 (Flashback) - Bruce, now in his teens, walking down a corridor in Wayne Manor, lost in thought.
He's dressed in preppy rich kid casual.
Panel 5 (Flashback) - And now Bruce is Year One age. Sitting in his father's study in a familiar outfit and
pose. Brooding. Just moments away from the spark of inspiration that will change his fate.
Panel 6 (Flashback) - Something large and black crashes through the study window, startling Bruce out
of his brooding.

PAGE 17
Panel 1 (Flashback) - A figure in black rises from the floor. Bruce watches, spellbound.
BRUCE
Wh-- Who...
Panel 2 (Flashback) - The figure stands. It's a priest. He has a bit of a resemblance to Alfred. Enough that
these rewritten memories would be easier to swallow.
PRIEST
You seem troubled, my son.
PRIEST
Have you not heard the good news?
Panel 3 (Flashback) - The priest holds out a glass of milk to Bruce. Where did it come from? Who knows!
Bruce stares at it the way he might have stared at a bat if that's what had come through the window.
PRIEST
All who drink from the well will be saved.
Panel 4 (Flashback) - Awed, almost hesitant, Bruce reaches to take the glass of milk from the priest's
hand.
Panel 5 (Flashback) - Bruce studies the glass of milk. There are tears running out of his eyes, a smile on
his face. He almost looks like he's at peace.
BRUCE
Yes, Father. I shall become a priest

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