@majormoaneruk.bsky.social🌌 Everyone’s posting stunning photos of the Northern Lights. What did I get? A dark sky, a stiff neck and a cloud that looked like a potato. Even the universe is putting on a show and forgetting to invite me. Typical. 🙄 #MajorMoaner
@majormoaneruk.bsky.socialThey’ve built a golden statue of Trump.
The golden calf finally has some competition.
At least the calf had the decency not to commission a giant monument to its own ego.
We’ve officially reached the point where narcissism needs a crane.
@majormoaneruk.bsky.socialGlens of Antrim Crisps has gone under after 54 years.
At this rate, the last British business standing will be a charity shop selling memories of everything we used to have.
@majormoaneruk.bsky.socialRoyal Mail: “We’re cutting 2,500 jobs.”
Customers: “But the post is already taking forever.”
Royal Mail: “Yes. Imagine how much longer it’ll take when we’re finished.”
@majormoaneruk.bsky.socialFood shortage fears in the UK.
Experts say we need better preparation.
So that's it then.
The nation's defence strategy is officially:
Beans.
@majormoaneruk.bsky.socialCake.
One slice is never enough.
You have one slice… then spend the next ten minutes thinking about the second.
Self-control is all very well, but have you seen the size of that cake?
Priorities. 🍰
@majormoaneruk.bsky.socialFancy a bit of moaning?
Follow Major Moaner on Bluesky.
British observations. Everyday nonsense. Unnecessary technology. Prices that make you blink twice.
Basically, someone has to say it. 😏
Follow along and let’s moan about it together.