sit down a box. 0.5 seconds later:
#CatsBeLike

MAX. I just held Milo for 30 seconds and Max targeted him as soon as Milo's paws were on the ground again.

YOU ARE A BUTTHOLE, SIR.

Max: its enough that I shared my kitty mama's womb with him.

I'm surprised you didnt eat him in utero, fat boy.

"Rude!"

#max #cats #catsbelike

things I say to my #cats that sound weird out of #context:

--quit showing me your butthole, sir!

--get your nose out of his ass!

--quit chewing on that!

--why are you eating lint?

--quit staring at your brother while he's pooping!

#catsbelike

scrolling through my phone and I suddenly look to my right to see my cat staring at me like he is the photo

yes?

can I help you?

"pet me, hooman!"

#forwhomthemaxstares #hestaresatthee #catsbelike #cats #catsofbluesky

me: I'm never having kids

also me: *lecturing my cat, telling him not to rip open his toy agaib or I'll have to throw it away*

#furrychildren #childlesscatlady #catsbelike

milo, he's your brother. he just smells like vet

milo: nope, that is an imposter! take him back!

you'll get over it

milo: I protest!

#milo #catbehavior #catsbelike #cats #catsofbluesky

vet: I'm surprised he fit in that carrier. is it like a TARDIS?

pure savagery 😭😭😭😭

23lbs

bud 😵

#cats #catsbelike #shotsfired #savage