Found on Reddit. Someone’s getting a talking to from their boss.

#MetroTrains

Suspension - Sunbury Line

Buses are replacing trains between Sunshine and Watergardens due to vandalism, or as we prefer to call it, an unapproved infrastructure alteration initiative.

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Metro 5.40pm Update:

Minor delays on the Hurstbridge, Mernda and Pakenham lines this evening due to it being Friday and we thought t would be a fun way to finish off the week.

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Throwback Thursday! (a day late)

This June 1977 Peter J Vincent pic shows a parcel van crossing Greville St in Prahran.

Things have changed significantly since. For example, the person on the left is now much older or perhaps even dead.

#MetroTrains #ThrowbackThursday

🤔🤔🤔 #metrotrains #Melbourne

Good morning Melbourne!

The Cranbourne and Pakenham lines are suspended between Oakleigh and Dandenong due to vandalism.

We’ve provided a limited bus replacement service. You’ll need to get a spot on board Hunger Games style.

Good luck!

#MetroTrains

Heading to PAX this weekend?

Taking a train to Southern Cross is a cheap & efficient alternative to driving, and only a short walk from the venue.

Bonus: there’s a Woolworths on the concourse for quick and easy purchase of deodorant.

#MetroTrains

Throwback Thursday!

This Peter J Vincent pic shows Frankston Station as it appeared in the late 1970s.

We're not sure if the gates in the foreground were part of the level crossing or there to help keep the local bogans out. Probably the latter.

#MetroTrains #ThrowbackThursday

Due to the increasing cost of diesel all Myki fares will incur a $1 fuel surcharge from tomorrow.

Yes, our trains are fully electric, however we still feel justified in adding the diesel surcharge.

Thank you for your co-operation in this matter.

#MetroTrains

Daylight Saving Time starts tomorrow.

A reminder to turn your Myki forward at 2am. Or back at 2am. Better yet, shove your Myki up your arse at 2am.

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Good morning Melbourne (and Sydney)!

A shoutout to our friends up north who today are retiring the K sets with a final public farewell run. The last service will operate Central to Hornsby before terminating at Olympic Park.

www.transport.nsw.gov.au/news-and-eve...

#MetroTrains

Throwback Thursday!

This c1980s Graeme Rayson pic shows a Hitachi at the former Galvin Station on the Werribee line.

There have been calls for this closed station to reopen due to population growth in the area. We considered the idea and said "nah, fuck that".

#MetroTrains #ThrowbackThursday

Good morning Melbourne!

In line with new requirements from today we are not adding a payment surcharge to Myki top-ups performed via credit card. We weren't previously, but we're also not doing so from today.

We hope this post has been useful.

#MetroTrains

Metro 5.30pm Update:

All lines running well this afternoon with no disruptions or incidents.

As you’re all enjoying a nice ride home tonight we hope you all stub your toes on a piece of furniture.

#MetroTrains

Now the match is over, we're running extra services from the MCG to help all of you interstate cunts fuck off back home.

Thanks and bye.

#MetroTrains #AFLGF2026

Good: Football fans from two different states coming to experience our great city and all it has to offer.

Better: Double the opportunity to fine out-of-state visitors who don't understand how Myki works.

#MetroTrains

Good morning Melbourne!

We're running additional services to get you to/from the Kylie Minogue concert at the MCG this afternoon. You might even want to stick around for some ball game that's happening too.

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An important message from Fake Metro Trains: Know the signs of a stroke.

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Throwback Thursday!

This Weston Langford pic shows Upfield Station as it appeared in 1959.

At the time the surrounding area was a desolate wasteland.

Today, it's much the same, just with more kebab shops.

#MetroTrains #ThrowbackThursday

Creating the most epic wedding photo in the history of forever.

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