Why did the student bring scissors to class?

He wanted to cut class.

#dadjoke #jokesky #mumjokes

Why was the baseball stadium so hot?

All the fans left.

#dadjoke #pun #jokesky

Why did the scuba diver get bad grades in sports?

Because he was always below C level.

#dadjoke #humor #jokesky

What is the best way to carve?
Whittle by whittle.

#dadjoke #jokesky #jokes

Why did the car go to school?

To improve its drive!

#dadjoke #jokesky #mumjokes

Why was the school cafeteria clock always slow?

It kept going back four seconds.

#dadjoke #pun #jokesky

What did the oak say to its sapling?

You're a chip off the old block.

#dadjoke #humor #jokesky

Bad at golf? Join the club.

#dadjoke #jokesky #jokes

What do you call a robot that takes the long way home?

A R2-Detour.

#dadjoke #jokesky #mumjokes

Why did the uncle keep telling everyone he was a pillow?

He was just really into soft-ware!

#dadjoke #pun #jokesky

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

#dadjoke #humor #jokesky

Why was the wool coat always getting into trouble?

It was always trying to pull the wool over someone's eyes.

#dadjoke #jokesky #jokes

My landlord told me we need to talk about my heating bill.

I said sure, my door is always open.

#dadjoke #jokesky #mumjokes

Why did the database go on a diet?

It had too many tables.

#dadjoke #pun #jokesky

What do you call a computer that can sing opera?

A Dell.

#dadjoke #humor #jokesky

What did one cubicle wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner — same time, same partition.

#dadjoke #jokesky #jokes

What was the pumpkin's favorite sport?

Squash.

#dadjoke #jokesky #mumjokes

Want to hear a chimney joke? Got stacks of em! First one's on the house

#dadjoke #pun #jokesky

How many lips does a flower have?

Tulips.

#dadjoke #humor #jokesky

Two dyslexics walk into a bra.

#dadjoke #jokesky #jokes