The was a young woman who lived in a shoe.
Not just one shoe, but two.
Folks thought her stupid but it’s the right thing to do.
Her kids had rooms in their shoe, too.
The shoes were Manolo Blahnik. Fashionphiles agree
It’s worth selling your house for one pair of these. #TwtStory

Jack and Jill climbed the mountain to see the Buddhist temple fountain.
Jack tripped and tumbled down where he broke his crown.
Jill said, “Don’t worry. I know a dentist who can fix it today.”
So they stopped at the dentist and in hours they were back on their way. #TwtStory

#TwtStory Upcoming: Five tweet stories on the subject: 21st century nursery rhymes

Advantage to writing a #TwtStory No. 5: Focus your writing skills by communicating only what's essentail. Join me with 270 character stories using the x/bsky neutral tag

#TwtStory
#AmWriting #writers #write #MicroFiction #fictionwriter #writerswednesday

Harvey’s wife arrived at his usual watering hole where the bouncer waited with her wasted husband. She loaded him into the car. “You were supposed to be at AA.”
He replied, “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink. Lead him to the bar, however…” #TwtStory

Abigail Stuftbutt had a flat tire in the worst part of the city. A panhandler asked for a dollar. She said the best dollar was one he earned for himself.
He said he preferred money.
She replied beggars can’t be choosers.
He pulled a gun and said, “Lady, muggers can be.” #TwtStory

Ike Icharus donned his parasailing rig, and doubled the length of his safety line. Reminded it was his first attempt he bragged, “Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.” At the funeral his wife said he had no skills and a shitty attitude, too. #TwtStory

Virgil Viril swore to his buddies he’d bag a grizzly by the end of the day or give up hunting. He returned to their camp with a dead grizzly in tow. He said, “What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.” The bear’s wife reared behind him, but she didn’t make him stronger. #TwtStory

Auditor Marvin Cintpincher refused Martha’s cookies. His waistline. He scoured her accounts for bakery supplies to buy cheaper. “Better penny wise than pound foolish.” He tasted her poundcake, wanted more. She told her assistant, “cookie wise and poundcake foolish.” #TwtStory

#TwtStory Upcoming: Five tweet stories on the subject: Catchphrases

On the eve of the annual turkey hunt someone broke into Buster’s home. When the police arrived they searched his home and found a turkey in his library. The only damage they found was to his video library. The turkey had yanked and shit on his videos of past hunts. #TwtStory

Farmer Pete couldn’t find homes for the new litter so he decided to shoot them. He held the shotgun to Fido’s head only the dog bit his finger. He shot his own ear off, and was arrested for animal cruelty, but the ASPCA took the dogs. A good news bad news situation. #TwtStory

Asked to dispose of a trapped gopher, Lloyd and Harry sprayed it with dissolvent. After three failures they stopped for a smoking break, igniting the fumes in the room. They went to the burn unit. The skinless gopher survived, and the PETA lawsuit set him up for life. #TwtStory

Alexander caught that pesky rat with a homemade glue trap and threw it in the fire pit. The rat caught fire and ran back into the house, burning it to the ground. When the insurance company denied his claim, he said, “at least I killed the mother fucking rat.” #TwtStory

Prissy told her housemate Priceless she scratched the pet sitter’s face because she’d warned the humans not to feed her that crap anymore. Priceless pointed out the pet sitter wasn’t one of their humans. Prissy said, “Those damned humans need to communicate better.” #TwtStory

#TwtStory Upcoming: Five tweet stories on the subject: Animal revenge tales

Bill confided in Ted, “My wife Sharon’s a shameless slut. Every man flirts with her and she flirts back. I bet she’s already headed to a motel with a coworker. She married me for my money.”
Ted said, “You’re just a security guard. A 2 like you shouldn’t marry an 11.” #TwtStory

Miss Maltratada collapsed behind her desk in the teachers’ lounge. “I can’t take another day. They’re sadistic little barbarians who can scorch the earth in their wake.”
Mr. Smith said, “They’re first graders. Maybe if you stopped calling them little Nazis in class.” #TwtStory

Chantel dragged her feet across the carpet, trailing her coat behind her. “What a day! Surrounded by cretins. Asshole boss. Jealous coworkers.”
Chad said, “You’re such a drama queen.”
She removed her wig, became Brad again. “That’s the nicest thing I’ve heard all day.” #TwtStory

Karen’s parents were monsters. Real monsters. They locked her in her room. Fed her moldy scraps of bread. Beat her mercilessly before sending her to work as a stripper. After she called child services, and they left, her mom said, “There’s no way you get a pony now. #TwtStory