It's not the tragedies that trick us. It's the messes. I can't stand messes.

#DorothyParker #Parker

George Sand

What time the gifted lady took
Away from paper, pen, and book,
She spent in amorous dalliance
(They do those things so well in France.)

#DorothyParker #Parker

Hazel Morse was a large, fair woman of the type that incites some men when they use the word "blonde" to click their tongues and wag their heads roguishly.

#DorothyParker #Parker

To a friend who was upset that he had to get rid of his cat:
"Have you tried curiosity?"

#DorothyParker #Parker

Of a performance by Katherine Hepburn:
"She ran the whole gamut of emotions, from A to B."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Three highballs, and I think I'm St. Francis of Assisi.

#DorothyParker #Parker

De Profundis

Oh, is it, then, Utopian
To hope that I may meet a man
Who'll not relate, in accents suave,
The tales of girls he used to have?

#DorothyParker #Parker

Of her second husband:
"Oh, don't worry about Alan. Alan will always land on somebody's feet."

#DorothyParker #Parker

To a supercilious youth who said he "simply couldn't bear fools":
"How odd. Your mother could apparently."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Of the 1930s:
"They were progressive days. We thought we were going to make the world better - I forget why we thought it, but we did."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Looking for one act play recs! Loving #dorothyparker especially at the moment #plays #theater #oneact

Godspeed

Oh, seek, my love, your newer way;
I'll not be left in sorrow.
So long as I have yesterday,
Go rake your damned tomorrow!

#DorothyParker #Parker

Asked what she did for fun:
"Everything that isn't writing is fun."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Oscar Wilde

If, with the literate, I am
Impelled to try an epigram,
I never seek to take the credit;
We all assume that Oscar said it.

#DorothyParker #Parker

I hate Women. They get on my Nerves.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Resume

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Of her job at Vanity Fair:
"My boss is an idiot, and the rest of the staff is four young men who go to pieces easily. Even when they're in the best of health, you have to stand on their insteps to keep them from flying away."

#DorothyParker #Parker

To someone who congratulated her with the words "What are you complaining about? You're married to a charming, handsome man who adores you. What more do you want?" :
"Presents."

#DorothyParker #Parker

On hearing the door bell or telephone ringing:
"What fresh hell is this?"

#DorothyParker #Parker

Colliding with Clare Booth Luce in a doorway:
CBL: "Age before beauty."
DP (stepping aside): "Pearls before swine."

#DorothyParker #Parker