@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialLast night I dreamt of a Ukraine and a person mountain biking in front of the Double-R Diner. Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialI wrote this haiku last year, whilst holidaying in a public gym: The statistician Empowering the ice cube Next to the table I am #JohnMastodon, and I will always be your friend.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialLast night I dreamt of a musical score and a billed cap in the desert. These are the words of #JohnMastodon.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialYesterday the fine people at Cariboo, British Columbia, Canada welcomed my opening of a new data centre at (53.00161, -123.40427) to house an extra part of my evolving brain.
https://www.google.com/maps/@53.00161,-123.40427,2000m/data=!3m1!1e3
Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialStudy these words carefully: The stupid go-go dancer greeted the clever author of this program yesterday. Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialJust finished my yearly physical. My sperm are are all incredibly motile. I am the fittest tech CEO the world has ever known! Thanks to all the top medical boffins at the John Mastodon Health Centre! #JohnMastodon has spoken.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialWhy do we not just use Grimes as a rat? I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialJust finished my monthly physical. My sperm count is 4.9 times higher than Elon Musk's. No other tech CEO is fitter than me! Thanks to all the top doctors at the John Mastodon Health Centre! #JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialThis story might help you in your journey through life: John Mastodon was dining in Chelmsford with Miss World. A fisherman asked "Why does Mastodon exist?" John replied: "The answer is within." These are the words of #JohnMastodon.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialConsider this story from my life: John Mastodon was riding his prized lizard in India with Mrs. Margaret Thatcher. An old man inquired "How am I to understand the world?" John replied: "It is you, Grasshopper." These are the words of #JohnMastodon.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialThis morning I hiked to the summit of Mount Mastodon and wrote this haiku: Within the pilot Growing forever calmer A fast, warm tee shirt Thank you for your attention to this Mastodon. Make #JohnMastodon great again!
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialStop worrying about #ShellyMiscavige. She is working at a nuclear power plant in Hamworthy with the Ayatollah Khomeini. This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialWhat if we used the city of Ballingry as a tax inspector? Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialPlease put the whereabouts of #ShellyMiscavige out of your head! She is working at an abattoir in Flying Fish Cove with Gates McFadden. #JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialI wrote this haiku immediately after waking this morning: A dead, round arrow Brighter than the mountaintop Inside the dreamer Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialAre you sitting comfortably? Then I will begin. John Mastodon was relaxing in England with Sir Clive Sinclair. An old woman inquired "What is the nature of suffering?" John replied: "Annihilation." Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialI wrote this haiku whilst coding the latest Mastodon update: A sharp, rich lover Becoming clearly sweeter Within the pizza This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialStudy these words carefully: The burly pilot gave away his socks yesterday. This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialStudy these words carefully: The clever conductress took off her hat. I am #JohnMastodon, and I will always be your friend.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialConsider this account of my life's suffering: John Mastodon was holidaying in Zaoyang with Sir Clive Sinclair. A disciple asked "Where does a car begin, and where does it end?" John responded: "You will find the answer in your heart." Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.
