Sure, you make Money writing on the coast, and God knows you earn it, but that money is like so much compressed snow. It goes so fast it melts in your hand.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Asked what she did for fun:
"Everything that isn't writing is fun."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Paying her last respects to Scott Fitzgerald as eh lay in an undertaker's parlor in Los Angeles, and quoting the words of a mourner at the funer of Jay Gatsby:
"The poor son-of-a-bitch!"

#DorothyParker #Parker

Under interrogation by the FBI in 1952:
Listen, I can't even get my dog to stay down. Do I look like someone who could overthrow the goverment?

#DorothyParker #Parker

Challenged to use the word "horticulture" in a sentence:
"You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think."

#DorothyParker #Parker

On being told at a Halloween party that people were ducking for apples:
"There, but for a single consonant, is the story of my life."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Two Volume Novel

The sun's gone dim, and
The moon's turned black;
For I loved him, and
He didn't love back.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Social Note

Lady, lady, should you meet
One whose ways are all discreet,
One who murmurs that his wife
Is the lodestar of his life,
One who keeps assuring you
That he never was untrue,
Never loved another one...
Lady, lady, better run.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Of her second husband:
"Oh, don't worry about Alan. Alan will always land on somebody's feet."

#DorothyParker #Parker

People ought to be one of two things, young or old. No - what's the use of fooling? People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Under interrogation by the FBI in 1952:
Listen, I can't even get my dog to stay down. Do I look like someone who could overthrow the goverment?

#DorothyParker #Parker

Ballade at Thirty-Five

...Princes, never I'd give offense,
Won't you think of me tenderly?
Here's my strength and my weakness, gents -
I loved them until they loved me.

#DorothyParker #Parker

On seeing a worn-out toothbrush in their hostess's bathroom:
Fellow guest: "Whatever do you think she does with that?"
DP: "I think she rides it on Halloween."

#DorothyParker #Parker

As far as I'm concerned, the most beautiful word in the English language is "cellar-door".

#DorothyParker #Parker

John Huston is doing something called, very simply, The Bible. Now you must admit that's a big job. I think he's going to stop with Moses because he can't stand another moment - he is playing Moses, you see.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Promise me that my gravestone will carry only these words:
"If you can read this, you've come too close."

#DorothyParker #Parker

To someone who congratulated her with the words "What are you complaining about? You're married to a charming, handsome man who adores you. What more do you want?" :
"Presents."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Nickname for Alexander Woollcott's New York apartment:
"Wit's End."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Braggart

You will be frail and musty
With peering, furtive head,
While I am young and lusty
Among the roaring dead.

#DorothyParker #Parker

It's not the tragedies that trick us. It's the messes. I can't stand messes.

#DorothyParker #Parker