To a supercilious youth who said he "simply couldn't bear fools":
"How odd. Your mother could apparently."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Horsie

All I say is, nobody has any business to go around looking like a horse and behaving as it it were all right.
You don't catch horses going around looking like people, do you?"

#DorothyParker #Parker

Braggart

You will be frail and musty
With peering, furtive head,
While I am young and lusty
Among the roaring dead.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Words of Comfort to be Scratched on a Mirror

Helen of Troy had a wandering glance;
Sappho's restriction was only the sky;
Ninon was ever the chatter of France;
But oh, what a good girl am I!

#DorothyParker #Parker

Lips that taste of tears are the best for kissing.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Cherry White

I never see that prettiest thing -
A cherry bough gone white with spring -
But but what I think, "How gay 'twould be
To hang me from a flowering tree."

#DorothyParker #Parker

On being asked if she was going to join Alcoholics Anonymous :
"Certainly not. They'd want me to stop now."

#DorothyParker #Parker

It's not the tragedies that trick us. It's the messes. I can't stand messes.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Reuben's Children

Accursed from their birth they be
Who seek to find monogamy,
Pursuing it from bed to bed -
I think they would be better dead.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Wit has truth in it. Wise-cracking is simply callisthenics with words.

#DorothyParker #Parker

On hearing that President Calvin Coolidge had died:
"How could they tell?"

#DorothyParker #Parker

#hope #Parker #spotlight #Uber
🌐 www.newsmart.ch

Never trust a round garter or a Wall Street man.

#DorothyParker #Parker

I like to think of my shining tombstone. It gives me, as you might say, something to live for.

#DorothyParker #Parker

I should have stayed home for dinner. I could have had something on a tray. The head of John the Baptist, or something.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Challenged to use the word "horticulture" in a sentence:
"You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think."

#DorothyParker #Parker

#California #freeway #judge #killed #Parker #Uber
🌐 www.newsmart.ch

Introducing her first husband:
"I want you to meet my little husband."

#DorothyParker #Parker

To a friend who was upset that he had to get rid of his cat:
"Have you tried curiosity?"

#DorothyParker #Parker

As far as I'm concerned, the most beautiful word in the English language is "cellar-door".

#DorothyParker #Parker