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To a friend who asked her if she liked her hair:
"Lovely. I can't wait for mine to go gray so I can have it made blue."

Wit has truth in it. Wise-cracking is simply callisthenics with words.

Of trying to talk to someone who kept interrupting:
"Like riding on the Long Island railroad - it gets you nowhere in particular."

#DorothyParker #Parker

When a woman asked her, as they often did, "How did you do it?" :
"See your analyst. He might have a word with your ovaries."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Rhyme Against Living

If wild my breast and sore my pride,
I bask in dreams of suicide;
If cool my heart and high my head,
I think, "How lucky are the dead!"

#DorothyParker #Parker

Rhyme Against Living

If wild my breast and sore my pride,
I bask in dreams of suicide;
If cool my heart and high my head,
I think, "How lucky are the dead!"

#DorothyParker #Parker

Paying her last respects to Scott Fitzgerald as eh lay in an undertaker's parlor in Los Angeles, and quoting the words of a mourner at the funer of Jay Gatsby:
"The poor son-of-a-bitch!"

#DorothyParker #Parker

News Item

Men seldom make passes
At girls who wear glasses.

#DorothyParker #Parker

General Review of the Sex Situation

Woman wants monogamy;
Man delights in novelty.
Love is woman's moon and sun;
Man has other forms of fun.
Woman lives but in her lord;
Count to ten, and man is bored.
With this the gist and sum of it,
What earthly good can come of it?

#DorothyParker #Parker

On being asked the title of her talk to the Congress of American Writers' poetry session in 1939:
"Sophisticated Verse and The Hell with it."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Braggart

You will be frail and musty
With peering, furtive head,
While I am young and lusty
Among the roaring dead.

#DorothyParker #Parker

I like to think of my shining tombstone. It gives me, as you might say, something to live for.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Of her supersophisticated New York days:
We were gallant, hardriding and careless of life. We were little black eyes that had gone astray... A sort of Ladies' Auxiliary of the Legion of the Damned.

#DorothyParker #Parker

I hate Women. They get on my Nerves.

#DorothyParker #Parker

On being asked if she was going to join Alcoholics Anonymous :
"Certainly not. They'd want me to stop now."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Comment

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong,
And I am Marie of Roumania.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Challenged to use the word "horticulture" in a sentence:
"You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Of her second husband:
"Oh, don't worry about Alan. Alan will always land on somebody's feet."

#DorothyParker #Parker

To a supercilious youth who said he "simply couldn't bear fools":
"How odd. Your mother could apparently."

#DorothyParker #Parker