On writing for films:
"I don't believe the films have anything to do with writing except in a crossword puzzle kind of way. Writing a script is drawing together a lot of ends which can be worked into a moving picture."

#DorothyParker #Parker

To a friend who was upset that he had to get rid of his cat:
"Have you tried curiosity?"

#DorothyParker #Parker

When a woman asked her, as they often did, "How did you do it?" :
"See your analyst. He might have a word with your ovaries."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Of a mongrel:
"All too obviously, it was the living souvenir of a mother who had never been able to say no."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Sure, you make Money writing on the coast, and God knows you earn it, but that money is like so much compressed snow. It goes so fast it melts in your hand.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Under interrogation by the FBI in 1952:
Listen, I can't even get my dog to stay down. Do I look like someone who could overthrow the goverment?

#DorothyParker #Parker

To a neighbour who tolder her her dog was a female:
"I always call dogs 'he'. It don't do to notice everything."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Oscar Wilde

If, with the literate, I am
Impelled to try an epigram,
I never seek to take the credit;
We all assume that Oscar said it.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Asked what she did for fun:
"Everything that isn't writing is fun."

#DorothyParker #Parker

To a friend who was upset that he had to get rid of his cat:
"Have you tried curiosity?"

#DorothyParker #Parker

Her locks had been so frequently and so drastically brightened and curled that to caress them, one felt, would be rather like running one's fingers through julienne potatoes.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Talking to a friend about a garrulous bore:
Friend: "She's so outspoken."
DP: "By whom?"

#DorothyParker #Parker

On hearing the door bell or telephone ringing:
"What fresh hell is this?"

#DorothyParker #Parker

Resume

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Rhyme Against Living

If wild my breast and sore my pride,
I bask in dreams of suicide;
If cool my heart and high my head,
I think, "How lucky are the dead!"

#DorothyParker #Parker

On being told that someone wouldn't hurt a fly:
"Not if it was buttoned up."

#DorothyParker #Parker

On finding herself a guest at a private house:
"I knew it would be terrible. Only I didn't think it would be as bad as this. This isn't just plain terrible; this is fancy."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Never trust a round garter or a Wall Street man.

#DorothyParker #Parker

The ugliest modern gesture - that of a man looking at his wrist-watch!

#DorothyParker #Parker

On writing for films:
"I don't believe the films have anything to do with writing except in a crossword puzzle kind of way. Writing a script is drawing together a lot of ends which can be worked into a moving picture."

#DorothyParker #Parker