Last night I dreamt of a camel, a heart hands and an oncoming fist in outer space. #JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.

I wrote this haiku after meditating in my Zen garden: A narrow pony Becoming ever stiller Forever singing Be grateful, for #JohnMastodon has spoken to you.

Last night I dreamt of a winking face with tongue, a wind chime and a men holding hands in a forest. I am #JohnMastodon, and I will always be your friend.

Last night I dreamt of a first quarter moon face and a person taking bath in the desert. #JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.

Last night I dreamt of a superhero and a kissing face with closed eyes in a forest. These are the words of #JohnMastodon.

I wrote this haiku whilst on my gap year in South Africa: A slow, rich father Speculating on a stoat Within the sausage These are the words of #JohnMastodon.

The whereabouts of #ShellyMiscavige are not a concern! She is running a fish and chip shop in Lake Park. Be grateful, for #JohnMastodon has spoken to you.

Last night I dreamt of an index pointing up and a construction worker in outer space. Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.

S'up? Check dis out, bitches: John Mastodon was spending some time in Kenton. A jogger asked "What is the nature of Twitter?" John whispered: "It is you, child." I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.

This story contains a message for you all: John Mastodon was residing in Denny. An old woman wondered "What is the nature of a dog?" John whispered: "The answer is inside." This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.

I wrote this haiku in the shower this morning: A white, bright rabbit Yearning to be a guitar Inside the kitten This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.

I wrote this haiku many years ago, whilst on my gap year in a restaurant: Screaming like a cow Pissing on the wet laptop The aviator Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.

I wrote this haiku while dropping the kids off at the pool this morning: Outside a beard Preying on a fast moustache The fragrant builder Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.

I wrote this haiku after speaking to my spirit guide: Next to a girlfriend Growing slightly happier An alligator Be grateful, for #JohnMastodon has spoken to you.

Last night I dreamt of a Belize, a Comoros and a backhand index pointing left in front of the Double-R Diner. These are the words of #JohnMastodon.

Don't worry about #ShellyMiscavige. She is working at a train station in Penn Wynne. #JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.

Last night I dreamt of a Moldova and a hammer in front of the Double-R Diner. Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.

I wrote this haiku while dropping the kids off at the pool this morning: Failing like a pig Becoming simply sweeter The statistician I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.

I wrote this haiku just a moment ago: The sharp, thin sniper Becoming always stronger Within the pilot #JohnMastodon has spoken.

I wrote this haiku just a moment ago: A wavy boyfriend Billowing like the sharp cow Forever screaming Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.