@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialI wrote this haiku in the shower this morning: Crying like a bitch Turning forever calmer A scared, rich jumper I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialI wrote this haiku while sitting on the toilet this morning: Within the apple Praying for the nice laptop A flat transgressor I am #JohnMastodon, and I will always be your friend.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialJust returned from my yearly Physical Examination. My systolic blood pressure is only 11 mm Hg higher than my diastolic. No other tech CEO is healthier than me! Thanks to the top doctors at the John Mastodon Health Centre! I am #JohnMastodon, and I will always be your friend.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialI wrote this haiku whilst coding the latest Mastodon update: A truthful hotdog Becoming even calmer Next to the pigeon I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialWhy do we not just use a wine bottle as an escalator? #JohnMastodon has spoken.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialYesterday I built a beautiful new data centre at (10.00364, 27.38165) in Bahr Al Arab, East Darfur, Sudan to house an additional part of my expanding brain.
https://www.google.com/maps/@10.00364,27.38165,2000m/data=!3m1!1e3
Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialI wrote this haiku whilst on my gap year in Scotland: A descending nut Becoming clearly sweeter Inside the butler Thank you for your attention to this Mastodon. Make #JohnMastodon great again!
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialWhy do we not just give the city of Manila to Dame Janet Baker? Be grateful, for #JohnMastodon has spoken to you.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialJust finished my annual physical. My blood pressure is lower than an athlete's and my sperm count is 4.2 times higher than Elon Musk's. No other tech CEO is fitter than me! Thanks to all the wonderful people-mechanics at the John Mastodon Health Centre! I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialWhat if we gave a nun to a promise? This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialWhy do we not just mate a blackbird with a beaver? Thank you for your attention to this Mastodon. Make #JohnMastodon great again!
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialJust returned from my daily physical. I ACED it! I am the fittest tech CEO the world has ever known! Thanks to all the top people-mechanics at the John Mastodon Health Centre! This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialLast night I dreamt of a ring and a kite in front of the Double-R Diner. This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialStudy these words carefully: The fat secretary reads The Sun often. I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialI wrote this haiku in the shower this morning: A white cinema Getting forever stiller Within a puppy Thank you for your attention to this Mastodon. Make #JohnMastodon great again!
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialI wrote this haiku after meditating in my Zen garden: Within a beard Billowing like the auntie The thin, sick dinner Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialI wrote this haiku after some physical exertion last night: Outside the podcast Becoming nearly stiller The sick forester Be grateful, for #JohnMastodon has spoken to you.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialJust returned from my daily Cognitive Examination. I ACED it! No other tech CEO has ever achieved such great results! Thanks to the top brain-shrinkers at the John Mastodon Health Centre! #JohnMastodon has spoken.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialThis morning I hiked to the summit of Mount Mastodon and wrote this haiku: An influencer Becoming sometimes stronger Within a brother I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialLast night I dreamt of a camel, a heart hands and an oncoming fist in outer space. #JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.