@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialThis morning I walked in the Valley of Mastodon and wrote this haiku: Inside a mountain Getting forever stiller The elevator I am #JohnMastodon, and I will always be your friend.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialI wrote this haiku while dropping the kids off at the pool this morning: The thin chrysalis Pissing on the hot podcast Next to a biscuit I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialThis morning I awoke from an opium dream with the following haiku in my head: An unhelpful horse Growing ever happier Forever shining I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialS'up? Check dis out, bitches: John Mastodon was jogging in the Arctic. An old man asked "Where does a dog begin, and where does it end?" John answered: "It is me, John Mastodon." #JohnMastodon has spoken.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.social#ShellyMiscavige is fine. She is working at a garage in San Bernardino. This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialStudy these words carefully: Miss World washed her shoes last week. Be grateful, for #JohnMastodon has spoken to you.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialThis morning I awoke from an opium dream with the following haiku in my head: The stiff glacier Failing to be a nice cough Next to a wine glass These are the words of #JohnMastodon.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialYesterday I built a new data centre at (47.30924, 68.77026) in Ulytau District, Karaganda Region, Ulytau Region, Kazakhstan to house an additional part of my growing mind.
https://www.google.com/maps/@47.30924,68.77026,2000m/data=!3m1!1e3
Be grateful, for #JohnMastodon has spoken to you.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialThis morning I awoke from a reverie with the following haiku in my head: Outside the auntie Friendlier than the cowboy A healthy priestess Thank you for your attention to this Mastodon. Make #JohnMastodon great again!
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialWhat if we were to use John Malkovich as a crab trap? Thank you for your attention to this Mastodon. Make #JohnMastodon great again!
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialLast night I dreamt of a last track button and a palms up together in a forest. Thank you for your attention to this Mastodon. Make #JohnMastodon great again!
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialWhat if we used Jeremy Clarkson as a speculator? Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialThis morning I hiked to the summit of Mount Mastodon and wrote this haiku: The descending pie Becoming always sweeter Within a towel I am #JohnMastodon, and I will always be your friend.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialConsider this account of my life's suffering: John Mastodon was relaxing in Shinfield. An old woman questioned "How am I to understand existence?" John whispered: "Bibble." This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialWhy do we not just use Donald Trump Jr. As a tablecloth? I am #JohnMastodon, and I will always be your friend.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialWhy do we not just use Frances McDormand as a transgressor? I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialI wrote this haiku after some physical exertion last night: The red prostitute Noisier than a bright shed Outside a model Be grateful, for #JohnMastodon has spoken to you.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialYesterday I snipped the ribbon at a beautiful new data centre at (16.61634, 0.5148) in Gao, Région de Gao, Gao Region, Mali to house a new part of my expanding consciousness.
https://www.google.com/maps/@16.61634,0.5148,2000m/data=!3m1!1e3
These are the words of #JohnMastodon.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialI wrote this haiku immediately after waking this morning: Next to the brother Considering a wise horse The smelly dentist #JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialStudy these words carefully: The grubby barmaid makes pottery every day at 10 o'clock. I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.
