On being warned by her doctor that if she didn't stop drinking she would be dead within a month:
"Promises, promises!"

#DorothyParker #Parker

Two Volume Novel

The sun's gone dim, and
The moon's turned black;
For I loved him, and
He didn't love back.

#DorothyParker #Parker

On finding herself a guest at a private house:
"I knew it would be terrible. Only I didn't think it would be as bad as this. This isn't just plain terrible; this is fancy."

#DorothyParker #Parker

On writing for films:
"I don't believe the films have anything to do with writing except in a crossword puzzle kind of way. Writing a script is drawing together a lot of ends which can be worked into a moving picture."

#DorothyParker #Parker

When asked by a woman sitting next to her at a first night, "Are you Dorothy Parker?"
"Yes, do you mind?"

#DorothyParker #Parker

On hearing that President Calvin Coolidge had died:
"How could they tell?"

#DorothyParker #Parker

Telegram to an actress who finally had her baby after many carefully contrived appearances during her long pregnancy:
"GOOD WORK. WE ALL KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU."

#DorothyParker #Parker

To someone who congratulated her with the words "What are you complaining about? You're married to a charming, handsome man who adores you. What more do you want?" :
"Presents."

#DorothyParker #Parker

On writing for films:
"I don't believe the films have anything to do with writing except in a crossword puzzle kind of way. Writing a script is drawing together a lot of ends which can be worked into a moving picture."

#DorothyParker #Parker

On being warned by her doctor that if she didn't stop drinking she would be dead within a month:
"Promises, promises!"

#DorothyParker #Parker

"Whatever is, is good" - your gracious creed.
You wear your joy of living like a crown.
Love lights your simplest gift of all - a friend.
Your shining loyalty unflecked by doubt
You ask but leave to follow to the end
(Couldn't you wait until I took you out?)

#DorothyParker #Parker

Partial Comfort

Whose love is given over-well
Shall look on Helen's face in hell,
Whilst they whose love is thin and wise
May view John Knox in paradise.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Name for a pet parrot:
"Onan" (because he spilled his seed on the bottom of his cage.)

#DorothyParker #Parker

On being told that Harold Ross had called her on her honeymoon demanding belated copy:
"tell him I've been too fucking busy - or vice versa."

#DorothyParker #Parker

John Huston is doing something called, very simply, The Bible. Now you must admit that's a big job. I think he's going to stop with Moses because he can't stand another moment - he is playing Moses, you see.

#DorothyParker #Parker

On being told that Harold Ross had called her on her honeymoon demanding belated copy:
"tell him I've been too fucking busy - or vice versa."

#DorothyParker #Parker

There always must be some kind of hitch.
Isn't nature (finish this line for yourself
and get a year's subscription to the Boston Post).

#DorothyParker #Parker

There were two things that would always bewilder her, she said: how a zipper worked and the exact function of Bernard Baruch.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Reuben's Children

Accursed from their birth they be
Who seek to find monogamy,
Pursuing it from bed to bed -
I think they would be better dead.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Of a play by Channing Pollock:
"The House Beautiful" is The Play Lousy.

#DorothyParker #Parker