The members of the Ladies Book Club and Mystery Society reviewed all the clues in Sally Furth’s murder. June said, “I’ve got it! Her neighbor killed her with a kitchen knife.”
Sally said, “That’s not it.”
Sue said, “Go away, Sally. You’re not a club member anymore.” #TwtStory

Mrs. Bee knitted and stared blankly at the TV. She couldn’t crack Mrs. Maple’s murder. Sewed to death by a new Singer machine. Speaking of singer, the needle and thread on the TV danced across her living room.
Of course! She committed suicide.
Thank God for LSD. #TwtStory

Detective Becker told Betty to back off. “You’re a retired grocery clerk, lady.”
But Betty stuck to her guns, having the wisdom of a grandmother. “I told you. The killer’s a fish. The one on the bookshelf.”
“I don’t see any fish.”
“It’s a ninja Antifa killer fish.” #TwtStory

Aunt Agnes, amateur detective, poured the water into her tea pot to steep the tea. “Poor Mr. Butler. I haven’t a clue who might have murdered him.”
“It was his ex-wife Jane,” her tea pot said.
Agnes was skeptical. “How do you know?”
“Heard it on the porcelain network.” #TwtStory

#TwtStory Upcoming: Five tweet stories on the subject: Cozy mystery surrealism

Advantage to writing a #TwtStory No. 5: Focus your writing skills by communicating only what's essentail. Join me with 270 character stories using the x/bsky neutral tag

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#AmWriting #writers #write #MicroFiction #fictionwriter #writerswednesday

Cotton’s first job in Hell was shoveling the shit from heaven’s goodness mines and stacking it in rows to feed the inmates. In his off time, they tortured him. “I changed my mind. Let me go back to heaven.”
The demon asked him, “Doc? You think you have choice here?” #TwtStory

Cotton complained to St. Peter about everything he hated in heaven. St. Peter said, “You don’t have to stay. You have choices.”
Cotton said, “Where do I sign?”
One of the angels said to Peter, “They aren’t any dumber but they think they’re smarter than the rest of us.” #TwtStory

In the week leading to Christmas everyone made presents for needy kids on earth. On Christmas Day Cotton demanded his present. “And I want it to be a surprise.” So they gave him a video of his wife having sex with his ex-partner.
“You didn’t specify a good surprise.” #TwtStory

Cotton never expected heaven would put him to work mining goodness for the mortals. He whined, “Can’t I transfer to a better job? I was management on earth.”
St. Peter transferred him to the goodness refinery, shoveling the waste shit into hell. “Glad you volunteered.” #TwtStory

Cotton was digging on heaven. Beds made of clouds. 128K HD. Bigger buffets than the Golden Corral. He was digging it until he received notice his work shift started tomorrow. “This ain’t part of the deal.”
St. Peter replied, “You wanted to play the harp for eternity?” #TwtStory

#TwtStory Upcoming: Five tweet stories on the subject: Heavenly orientation

Phillip couldn’t get his surgery until a pre-surgical exam, which revealed a heart anomaly, which they wouldn’t treat without a stress test, which he would have except for elevated blood pressure. At the funeral his doctor said, “If only we could get to him in time.” #TwtStory

Dr. Kildare and his nurse Betty emerged from the operating room and immediately looked for an empty room on the ward. The tumbled into bed and embraced the moment until Betty felt three hands on her ass. “Don’t mind me,” the patient said. “Recovery is boring.” #TwtStory

When Carrol woke in the recovery room, the nurse presented a wrapped bundle. “Your emergency C-section was a success.” Which surprised Carrol since he was male, and the bundle was his kidney. The hospital stopped allowing the doctors to sample the patient’s anesthetic. #TwtStory

Paul begged his nurse to bring him jello even though the doctor’s prescribed a liquid diet. No luck. So he bribed her $10.
No luck.
He offered 40.
She delivered the jello. After his doctor took him off a liquid diet.
If you asked Paul, there’s no justice in this world. #TwtStory

Bob wanted to see the part they removed from his body during surgery. It it was irrestiable. He insisted on taking it home with him. He even named it Bob Jr. which pissed off his wife and kids, although not so much as when they learned he left everything to Bob Jr. #TwtStory

#TwtStory Upcoming: Five tweet stories on the subject: Hospitals

The lizard people set up industrial scale food processing plants in every city in every country. Chameleon Green, sold by lottery. People lined up outside the factory. Thorn warned them, “Chameleon Green is people!” The foreman said, “You gonna whine or get in line?” #TwtStory

The lizard people stormed the White House brandishing their anti-matter disintegrator rifles. They burst into the Oval Office where a sweating, orange obese man with fake hair greeted them with a sweaty handshake. “Good news, boys,” the leader said. “He’s one of us.” #TwtStory