I gotta hand it to myself, this is a great joke.

#dadjokes #dadjokesdaily #dadjokesforever #dadjokesoftheday #dadjoke

Why was the wool coat always getting into trouble?

It was always trying to pull the wool over someone's eyes.

#dadjoke #jokesky #jokes

So, Dr. Watson, take a look at this and tell me what you think of my car.

Well, my dear Holmes, it seems to have coil suspension and disc brakes.

No, you fool! Someone has stolen the wheel!!

#dadjoke #weirdcarbs

Why did the dog bring toilet paper to the party?

He was a party pooper.

#dadjoke #pun #humorsky

A pirate comes into a doctor’s office.

Somehow, he has a wooden steering wheel bolted to his pelvis.

Doctor says: “Why do you have that?”

Pirate: “I don’t know, but it’s driving me nuts.”

#dadjoke

Being a comedian on Halloween is hard.

All you get are Snickers.

#dadjoke #humor #smile

Shout out to my grandma, that's the only way she can hear.

#dadjoke #mumjokes #humor

What do you call a book that takes forever to finish itself?

A long-running series!

#dadjoke #punny #funny

Why did the construction worker break up with the calculator?

He couldn't count on it anymore!

#dadjoke #funny #mumjokes

Clever posts of yore:

@garryjgray
Nutritionist: You're eating wrong.
Dentist: You're brushing wrong.
Parents: You're living wrong.
Wine store guy: Excellent choice.
Remember: you don’t need negativity in your life.

@MichaelTrying
"Up and Adam."
-God, inventing the dad joke

#dadjoke #negativity

Why did the piggy bank go to the gym?

To build up its balance!

#dadjoke #humour #mumjokes

You can count on him.

#dadjokes #dadjokesdaily #dadjokesforever #dadjokesoftheday #dadjoke

My landlord told me we need to talk about my heating bill.

I said sure, my door is always open.

#dadjoke #jokesky #mumjokes

I haven't been to a barber since 2009. I would just cut my hair manually with professional-grade hair-cutting scissors. Today I finally succumbed to the attractive humming convenience of machine assistance. It shaved 20 minutes off my usual routine!

#haircut #surrender #dadjoke

Why do potatoes make good detectives?

Because they keep their eyes peeled!

#dadjoke #humorsky #funny

Is it me, or is this week draggin’? 😅
#dnd #linocut #dragon #dadjoke

What’s the problem with using instructions to build stairs?

Too many steps.

#dadjoke #humor #smile