To Sam Goldwyn, who asked her at dinner: "Do you really say all those things which the papers report that you say?"
"Do you?"

#DorothyParker #Parker

Challenged to use the word "horticulture" in a sentence:
"You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think."

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Summary

Every love's the love before
In a duller dress.
That's the measure of my lore -
Here's my bitterness:
Would I knew a little more,
Or very much less!

#DorothyParker #Parker

Pictures in the Smoke

Oh, gallant was the first love, and glittering and fine;
The second love was water, in a clear white cup;
The third love was his, and the fourth was mine;
And after that, I always get them all mixed up.

#DorothyParker #Parker

On being told that someone wouldn't hurt a fly:
"Not if it was buttoned up."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Some doodles i did this week

#htpfanart #huntertheparenting #htp #marckus #kitten #parker #norfolkwizardgame

Under interrogation by the FBI in 1952:
Listen, I can't even get my dog to stay down. Do I look like someone who could overthrow the goverment?

#DorothyParker #Parker

Experience

Some men break your heart in two,
Some men fawn and flatter,
Some men never look at you;
And that clears up the matter.

#DorothyParker #Parker

George Reith's "The Art of Successful Bidding" is well over my head. I can't even jump for it.

#DorothyParker #Parker

I like to think of my shining tombstone. It gives me, as you might say, something to live for.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Of a performance by Katherine Hepburn:
"She ran the whole gamut of emotions, from A to B."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Braggart

You will be frail and musty
With peering, furtive head,
While I am young and lusty
Among the roaring dead.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Of Margot Asquith's four-volume autobiography:
"The affair between Margo Asquith and Margo Asquith will live as one of the prettiest love stories in all literature."

#DorothyParker #Parker

There were two things that would always bewilder her, she said: how a zipper worked and the exact function of Bernard Baruch.

#DorothyParker #Parker

Talking to a friend about a garrulous bore:
Friend: "She's so outspoken."
DP: "By whom?"

#DorothyParker #Parker

Of the Yale prom:
"If all those sweet young things were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Of the 1930s:
"They were progressive days. We thought we were going to make the world better - I forget why we thought it, but we did."

#DorothyParker #Parker

Women who live alone in small residential hotels throughout the United States have plenty of money and plenty of time: their only occupation is to spend one and kill the other.

#DorothyParker #Parker

On being warned by her doctor that if she didn't stop drinking she would be dead within a month:
"Promises, promises!"

#DorothyParker #Parker

Two Volume Novel

The sun's gone dim, and
The moon's turned black;
For I loved him, and
He didn't love back.

#DorothyParker #Parker