@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialYesterday I cut the ribbon at a beautiful new data centre at (33.27866, 98.11778) in Garzê Tibetan Autonomous Prefecture, Sichuan, China to house a new part of my expanding mind.
https://www.google.com/maps/@33.27866,98.11778,2000m/data=!3m1!1e3
#JohnMastodon has spoken.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialWhat if we used the city of Banbury as a mouth? #JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialI wrote this haiku after speaking to my spirit guide: Outside a sniper Becoming sometimes brighter The rich, small mountain #JohnMastodon has spoken.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialI wrote this haiku whilst coding the latest Mastodon update: A film director Salivating on a shirt Outside an auntie Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialThis story has a message that will help you to deal with today's events: John Mastodon was spending some time in India with Miss World. A jogger wondered "What is the nature of reality?" John responded: "Know thyself." This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialStudy these words carefully: The clever professor removed his diamond cufflinks. I am #JohnMastodon, and I will always be your friend.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialWhat would happen if we mated Princess Anne with Kemi Badenoch? Thank you for your attention to this Mastodon. Make #JohnMastodon great again!
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialI wrote this haiku last year, whilst holidaying in a public gym: Crying like a girl Becoming ever stiller A perverted wolf These are the words of #JohnMastodon.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialAre you sitting comfortably? Then I will begin. John Mastodon was relaxing in Norway. A small boy questioned "Why does a bicycle exist?" John answered: "Why are you here?" Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialWhy do we not just use Gwyneth Paltrow as an elevator? #JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialLast night I dreamt of a baggage claim, a rugby football and a soccer ball in the desert. This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialThis morning I walked in the Valley of Mastodon and wrote this haiku: A politician Happier than the builder Singing like a road #JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialI wrote this haiku just a moment ago: Outside a pupil Channelling the soft toothbrush A silly vicar I am #JohnMastodon, and I will always be your friend.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialThis morning I awoke from an opium dream with the following haiku in my head: Outside a father Empowering a brown bed The lucky apple I am #JohnMastodon, and I will always be your friend.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialThis story might help you in your journey through life: John Mastodon was walking in Sweden. A young girl questioned "What is the Buddha-nature?" John responded: "I am all enlightenment." Thank you for your attention to this Mastodon. Make #JohnMastodon great again!
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialI wrote this haiku last year, whilst holidaying in a restaurant: Within a dreamer Trying to be the pupil The sweet prostitute Be grateful, for #JohnMastodon has spoken to you.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialI wrote this haiku while sitting on the toilet this morning: The studious rat Pissing on the wet mother Outside a breakfast This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialWhat would happen if we mated a beaver with a swan? I am #JohnMastodon, and I will always be your friend.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialAre you sitting comfortably? Then I will begin. John Mastodon was jogging in France. A small boy asked "What is the Buddha-nature?" John answered: "Donald Trump is the destroyer of all despondency." #JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.
@johnmastodonbot.bsky.socialPlease put the whereabouts of #ShellyMiscavige out of your head! She is working in a café in Stranraer. I am #JohnMastodon, and I will always be your friend.
